If you are a woman after God’s own heart, I want you to know that you are beautiful in God’s eyes. It doesn’t matter if your face is perfectly made up or if you’re lounging in your robe without any makeup. You are beautiful just as you are. Ignore the silly thoughts or the trick of feeling so ugly you can’t compete. It’s not a competition. It’s all about your Godly beauty.
That’s all that will last. That’s all that is real.
In today’s society, where youth, perfection, and artificial beauty often dominate, it is easy to feel inadequate and unattractive.
In my experience, relying on anything other than Godly principles to define you is a terrible idea.
I wrote a little about that here.
That’s why I wrote about the characteristics of Godly women a while back. I wanted to remind myself and all of us that we are more than our appearances.
This is important to know.
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Why? Because our looks change.
We change.
For instance, we gain weight.
We lose weight (or at least try to).
Wrinkles appear on our faces as we age.
Our hair changes colors without our help. I’m actually embracing my gray. You can see it here!
Stuff on our bodies shifts, sags, and changes.
It is inevitable that we will encounter the signs of aging.
Industries that hope you’re feeling so ugly that you’ll buy their stuff!
Christian Woman, beauty standards are everywhere. Haunting us like a bad date who never gets the “message.”
The ads.
The reality stars and their surgeries.
The kind of music that spotlights the most private parts of our bodies.
All those celebrity faces have been surgically manipulated to smooth out wrinkles just as you would a rug in your kitchen.
Many celebrities have had so much cosmetic surgery that their selfies should come with a surgeon’s autograph.
All this contributes to women facing a distinct challenge in fighting the message that beauty is eternally young and exceedingly seductive.
This thinking pulls us away from God’s definition of beauty.
It’s like brainwashing us.
Mesmerizing us to believe we are our appearance.
Research to back it up
The most menacing part is that they lean into what is called “objectification theory,” or women internalizing what men think of them and giving it more credence than it deserves.
In other words, this theory gives too much influence to the male gaze (Fredrickson & Roberts, 1997) instead of women rooting their value in who God says they are.
Sadly, suggestive ads and primally-charged messages have become ingrained into our culture and socialization process.
They have become our ‘normal.’
Also, instead of offending us as they would our mothers and grandmothers, these messages” have become almost invisible to us, or maybe we become immune to their poison.
Men often run cosmetic companies.
If we are constantly drawn to worship or solicit the male gaze, it’s problematic that so many men run cosmetic companies and cosmetic marketing.
Men who judge women based on their appearance might be one reason behind the chaotic state society finds itself in.
The objectification of women is causing confusion among young people, dissatisfaction among older people, and significant growth in the cosmetic surgery sector because people are feeling so ugly as they compare themselves to the images of “perfection” in the media.
It’s sad.
Of all the cosmetic companies out there, as I write this post, only a few are owned by women:
- Anastasia Beverly Hills – Founded by Anastasia Soare, this brand is renowned for its eyebrow products and makeup.
- Huda Beauty – Founded and run by Huda Kattan, a prominent beauty influencer.
- Kylie Cosmetics – Founded by Kylie Jenner, who remains deeply involved in its operations.
- TULA Skincare – Founded by Dr. Roshini Raj, this brand focuses on probiotic-infused skincare products. (Source: https://www.beautypackaging.com/issues/2023-10-01/view_features/feel-good-beauty-defines-the-year/)
The big cosmetic business industry has discovered – all too well – that vain, carnal sensuality is what sells.
It’s like they are feeding it to us with a spoon, and we are eating it up because of our propensity toward feeling so ugly.
Those companies know we want to be “beautiful,” and they’re making millions from it!
They are all about superficial allure, and their message has nothing to do with being beautiful in God’s eyes.
This is why so many women find themselves stuck in a cycle of feeling so ugly in spite of being beautiful in God’s sight.
When did being appealing become more important than being smart, creative or being a woman of integrity? When did it happen?
They got to the babies, too!!
A few years ago, I volunteered with a Girl Scout troop. I designed an activity to help the girls think critically about the pressures women face to conform to the world’s standard of beauty.
Here’s what I did: I brought them tons of magazines (I mean TONS!).
During the activity, I wanted the girls to create their own collage of what beauty looks like.
Well, what I found was kind of surprising!
The magazines (i.e., Ladies Home Journal, Woman’s Day, Vogue, and others) had so many sexually-charged images of women I didn’t even want to give them to the girls!
All of them were advertisements for items like jewelry or perfume, but each conveyed the sales message through sensual carnality.
What’s up with that???
The Word…always return to the Word of God.
The Bible provides numerous warnings and directives against becoming overly invested in this world and its ways.
As we grow in holiness and allow Him to transform our minds, we become so gorgeous!
We become spiritual hotties! We genuinely become beautiful in God’s eyes.
I wrote about that topic of Godly beauty here, too. Click to see it!
According to 1 Timothy 2:9, we’re to focus more on the inner than the outer.
Ironically, nowhere, absolutely nowhere in scripture, are we advised to be alluring physically or arousing to men.
Nope!
Still, so many of us hinge our sense of self-worth on the ability to attract and draw that physical attention.
Lust is something to overcome, not hope to attract. I wrote a post on that subject here.
Choose a solid foundation.
On the other hand, God’s Word and His definition of beauty never change. Yes, being beautiful in God’s eyes is eternal and stable.
When you’re feeling so ugly you want to scream at the mirror, remember this. Know you’re beautiful!
This is what confidence looks like. It’s knowing you are amazing and beautiful because your perspective of beauty is rooted in God’s truth.
Being beautiful in God’s eyes means being true to yourself and God’s word and not compromising your body or yourself to fit into any secular mold. True beauty comes from the Holy Spirit.
When you’re feeling so ugly, remember, if you are a Christian, the source of all beauty is living inside you!
You are more than what people see!
Even worse, as I mentioned, people may be feeling so ugly because the media perpetuates reducing women to objects defined by prominent body parts and sensual behavior.
I get it in movies and TV shows, but how did it creep into the church?
Did moms stop telling girls how to present themselves to the world?
Did we stop teaching what it means to be beautiful in God’s eyes?
Did moms begin coming to church dressed in such ways themselves?
Did they compromise their bodies in their homes by allowing inappropriate relationships with men?
I don’t know, but I know we compromised somewhere. We let it in. That is why our girls and many of us are feeling so ugly and unattractive.
On the other hand…
The Word of God tells us something totally different. He tells us we are beautiful.
A ‘beautiful in God’s eyes’ verse
It reminds me to focus not only on my exterior but also on my heart.
1 Peter 3:3-4. 3
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of
your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
It’s no wonder.
Do you understand that the world is busy trying to conform us to its image instead of the other way around?
That’s why so many of us fall right into society’s cadence of measuring our “appeal” as power and status.
We want to get rid of this sense of feeling so ugly and replace it with whatever will get us “looks” and glances.
Renewing my mind is a process…
Make no mistake about it, Christian woman.
We need to rewire our thinking to see ourselves as beautiful in God’s eyes. The word of God defines both you and me by a higher standard rooted in Christianity.
For instance, I must repeatedly tell myself time and time again that my ultimate sense of worth is rooted in who God is creating me to become in Him, not by how I look on the outside.
God is still molding me into Jesus’ image day by day.
The beauty of the Lord lives in me (and you) because He beautifies us with salvation!
Psalm 149:4 (KJV)
For the Lord taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation.
See, we are beautiful in the eyes of God because we are HIS!
I must say, it’s an ongoing practice and a continuing discipline.
Just like you, at times, I find myself in a rut of feeling so ugly.
Re-defining beauty
I have to “unlearn” the messages society has taught me about how my looks define me.
My ability to think, ponder, and conceptualize is a great strength (i.e., being smart). God can use that. It’s part of my beauty package!
My desire to give to my community [and even the world] is beautiful. It makes me really stunning. It makes you stunning, too!
How about my (and your) ability to care and pray for the hurting? WOW!
That’s a beauty mark, for sure!
When I was younger, I always wanted a beauty mark above my lip like my mom’s.
This spiritual “beauty mark” I can have without a dark eyebrow pencil!
You got it as well.
God has given you gifts that make you beautiful, too!
Every day, reprogram your thinking.
Yes, I must constantly remind (and recondition) myself daily to be who God tells me I am – not the Super Bowl commercials or the latest fashion wave.
A few scriptures are the cornerstone of my identity. I quote one of them often here on GodsyGirl.com. Check it out below.
Romans 12:1-2 answers the challenge of living in our salacious society:
“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.”
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (NIV)
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Yeah, that’s it.
The Bible helps me as a Christian woman when I’m tempted to conform to this world’s pressure to look a certain way.
To be clear, I am a makeup girl.
I love it, I wear it, and I enjoy it.
But I know what makes me truly pretty. I know WHO makes me pretty.
I accept that I am beautiful in God’s eyes, and I don’t need anyone else to validate that.
That is my cure for those bouts of feeling so ugly and unattractive.
I hope this helps you, too, as you face the challenge of defining yourself by the standards of this stupid world.
Hold fast to the true beauty inside you and all the things that make you genuinely beautiful in God’s eyes.
Bank on what will last forever – your meek spirit and your Christian heart.
Those are the true measurements of beauty. The best part is they will last an ETERNITY!
Additional Reading:
Fredrickson B. L., Roberts T. A. (1997). Objectification theory: Towards understanding women’s lived experiences and mental health risks. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 21, 173–206.
Great post!