Dressing Sexy for Church? – Why do it?

Today, I was sitting here thinking about something kind of weird. I was actually wondering why do women dress sexy for church services. What is the reason and why do they feel it’s something to do intentionally? Is it a sign of low self-esteem? Or is it influenced by the power of darkness? What is the reason?

The world says women are empowered when they reclaim their appeal.

Part of me thinks that is a cop-out.

It’s like people saying we should throw around a racial slur that begins with the letter “n” because when we do, we reclaim its power.

That’s bull.

No matter who says it [outside the Black community], that word is venomous, disparaging, and hurtful.

Similarly, a half-dressed woman sends a specific message to the world, whether she thinks she is “empowered” or not.

Honestly, I belive that whole concept was derived by a man.

Think about it: many men like seeing scantily clad women, so why not put that thought out there?

Dressing in provocative ways may stem from complex issues rooted in the heart and psyche of some women.

Research

Did you know dressing provocatively has often been linked to low self-image and self-esteem issues?

Studies suggest that individuals who dress in revealing clothing may be seeking validation and attention to compensate for feelings of inadequacy or low self-worth.

For example, research published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology indicates that women with lower self-esteem are more likely to engage in self-objectification, which includes dressing in a manner that emphasizes their physical appearance to gain outside approval.

This behavior can create a harmful cycle, as reliance on external validation can further erode self-esteem.

I think it’s important to tackle self-image problems for lasting well-being.

Then there was this poll

A New York Daily News poll (no longer live on their site) discovered that one-third of women are actually willing to dress provocatively to advance in the workplace.

One-third – interesting, right?

That prompted me to think. Indulge me as I ponder this concept a bit.

So, basically, some women are willing to dress to sexually excite men in order to succeed professionally.

Say what?

Again, in other words, some women will reduce themselves to visually seducing a man in order to get what they want. I know this is not a new concept, but it is still worth analyzing.

I’m not judging, just thinking. Stay with me a bit or at least hear me out.

So, if women in the workforce dress sexy to “get ahead,” then why do women in the church do it?

Hmm…why do women dress sexy for church?

Still, it begs to ask: is “sexy” even wrong for Christian women? 

I don’t really think so.

We can be sexy—sure, we can.

Then, again, let me define sexy the way I see it.

To me, “sexy” is confidence—and not only in how you look!

It’s poise, intellect, and appeal that has nothing to do with skin or body parts.

With that said.  Yes. A Christian woman can be sexy.

Who is sexy for?

Now that we’ve determined that women can be sexy, the question becomes to whom we should be sexy.

In my opinion, it is for our husbands. It is not for our boyfriends, other people’s husbands, or guys we hope to date.

Christian women should not endeavor to be sexy for their boyfriends.

There is no covenant there.

Covenant is a Godly commitment. I’m talking about marriage.

Without it, you should not want to tempt your Christian boyfriend or have him longing for you in unpure ways.

Nor should you want to tempt married men. That’s evil, wicked, and weak.

But what if you want to turn a head of a good, Christian man? Do you do it then?

NO! You don’t want a man to pick you for your body. Nor do you want to become his “ho.”

What will undoubtedly happen is he will indulge you physically but marry someone with honor and who carries herself with integrity.

In effect, I do have it and I flaunt it too…AT HOME!

Am I the kind of “sexy” the modern magazines like? I think so to some degree, but my sexy ain’t for you, them, or anyone else.

Girl, my sexy (and, again, I am:) is for my husband only.

It’s not to attract your husband (aren’t you glad?). That would make me a skank in need of prayer.

Ask: “How do I want to be viewed?”

As a woman, do we want men to look at you and presume confidence, strength, and personal security?

Or would we rather he look at us and see us as needy, sexually insecure, and a little desperate?

Think about it, Christian Sister.

I do not mean to be unkind.

As an older woman, I am exhorting you in wisdom.

You want to be seen as a Godly woman of honor, someone a great Christian guy would feel safe around and excited to bring home to his mother.

A mature person understands perceptions and the power of supposition.

That’s why we don’t wear pajama bottoms to work.

How we present to the world says a lot about who we are and how we should be handled.

Sometimes, that is why some women never get past the “just a baby mama” mode. How we show ourselves tells a prospective man who and what we are.

Again, I am not judging.

I’m telling you what I would tell my daughter.

Seriously.

Think about it. How you present yourself to the world tells that man how to treat you, Baby.

I’m sorry. It’s true.

Ask me how I know. I know because I FELL FOR IT MYSELF!

My Confession

Hey, are you old enough to remember Calista Flockhart as Ally McBeal?

I am. I loved that show back in the day!

Anyway, during those years (it was the 90s), Ijoined everyone else and wore those short skirts.

I worked in an office so mine looked a lot like the suit in the pic to the right.

Let me tell you, I thought I was looking so good!

After all, I was in lock-step with the fashion trend and my legs looked ten miles long in my high-heeled pumps.

Everybody dressed like that!

Back then, I worked downtown and most women in banking had on similar suits – at least the ones my age. #Conforming #Assimilating

Here is the kicker. The women in higher-up leadership positions did not present themselves that way.

Interesting.

Some of them were my age too.

Anyway, I was dressing that way because everyone else did and it was popular.

For Christian women, conforming to the world’s standards can be spiritually damaging as it often leads to compromising your values and drifting away from biblical principles.

This can lead to shaky faith, losing your real identity in Christ, and maybe even picking up habits and beliefs that clash with your spiritual values and goals.

Trying to be like everyone else is like trying to teach a cat to fetch – endlessly entertaining, completely futile, and likely to end with the cat scratching you while you’re left searching for a bandaid and some Neosporin.

Then, I took that mess to church!

One bright, sunny Sunday morning, I decided to wear one of those suits to church.

Looking ever so cute, I walked through the foyer with my usual swagger, greeting folks, offering hugs, and smiling ear to ear.

As I continued through the massive lobby, I became aware of the numerous pairs of eyes dropping downward toward my naked upper thighs.

They weren’t mean. I don’t even think most of them were judging me.

They just “looked” because I was showing entirely too much of myself.

Some people just observed and kept it moving.

Those that did appear to judge, gave me a “mama look.”

And of course, there were a few of those guys that gave me that yucky, lusty glance creepy men are so good at.

I felt weird.

I felt reduced.

I even felt a little stupid.

Man, I was ashamed of myself

Here I was, a saved, smart woman working on an executive floor during the week, yet I felt like someone’s tramp in my own church.

It wasn’t anyone’s fault, but my own.

To this day, I can remember going to my car and getting a jacket to drape over my lap.

Let’s be clear. I’m a pretty confident person, so I didn’t so much care about other people’s opinions because I made a bad wardrobe choice. It was about how I felt about myself that day.

I felt cheapened by my own clothes.

That feeling shrunk my confidence all those years ago, and I never forgot it.

Needless to say, I never wore those sorts of suits or skirts again—anywhere!

I concluded I was better than that.

So are you. So is EVERY woman.

The Entire Point of “Why do women dress sexy for church?”

Godsy Girl.com is designed to inspire growth, challenge the status quo, and provoke thought.

So tell me, what do you think?

If so many women in the workplace dress to tantalize in order to move ahead, why do women do it in the church?

Alright. Now, is it ok to be sexy in the place of worship? Why or why not?

GodsyGirl is a Christian lifestyle blog featuring Christian faith articles written by an ordinary Christian woman blogger, Christian inspirational podcaster, and a pastor’s wife. GodsyGirl is about Christian inspiration and living your fullest life as a fabulous Christian woman. Explore GodsyGirl.com to find articles on everything from daily Christian living to hair, makeup, and living your absolute best life!