Seriously, are you trying to show me your belly button? No? Then, you want me to look at your breasts, right? Not the case? I see, maybe it’s the crack of your behind you want me and the entire world to see. When folks dress sexy at church, I’m usually like “huh?” What is up with that? This whole notion made me wonder why do women dress sexy for church?
Before you navigate away from Godsy Girl, assuming I’ve completely lost my mind, let me explain this whole line of thinking.
Women do what for WHAT???
A New York Daily News poll discovered 1/3 of women are actually willing to dress provocatively to get ahead in the workplace.
One-third – interesting, right?
That prompted me to think. Indulge me as I ponder this concept a bit.
So, basically, some women are willing to dress to sexually excite men in order to succeed professionally.
Let’s belabor the point here. Again, in other words, some women will reduce themselves to visually seducing a man in order to get what they want. I know this is not a new concept, but still worth analyzing.
I’m not judging, just thinking. Stay with me a bit or at least hear me out.
So, if women in the workforce dress sexy to “get ahead”; then why do women n the church do it? And the mind reels.
Hmmm…why do women dress sexy for church?
Still, it begs to ask: is “sexy” even wrong for Christian women? I don’t really think so.
We can be sexy. Sure we can. Then, again, let me define sexy the way I see it. To me, “sexy” is confidence – and not ONLY in how you look!. It’s poise. It’s intellect. Its appeal that has nothing to do with skin or body parts.
With that said. Yes. A Christian woman can be sexy.
I know most people don’t define the term as I do.
The popular media certainly doesn’t! Don’t expect Vogue or Madammoselle to feature very many covers based on poise and intellect alone.
Their sexy is totally different from who God wants us to be. I get it.
The way those women’s magazines define it is in congruence with those ladies [from the poll] who use their sexuality to advance.
We are talking apples and broccoli… two different things.
In effect, I do have it and I flaunt it too…AT HOME!
Am I the kind of “sexy” the magazines like? I think so to some degree, but my sexy ain’t for you, them, or anyone else.
Girl, my sexy (and, again, I am:) is for my husband only.
It’s not to attract your husband (aren’t you glad?). That would make me a skank in need of prayer.
Nor is it connected to what makes me feel good about myself.
In fact, I feel great about myself because of who I am and what I’m capable of and that is likely what makes me “sexy” and confident.
Recently, I’ve put on some pounds. Yep, but I still have all the elements that make me a bangin’ sister (I really wanted to type “sista”, but I didn’t)! Anyway, my allure has little to do with an appearance in the long run.
Guess what. You do too and when you know it – I mean really know it – you don’t need some man’s glance or a “look” in your direction to validate you, Girl.
Back to the “bigger picture”
Women, vain creatures that we are, enjoy looking attractive just like our male counterparts.
Like it or not, our outer appearance is to some degree linked to our total self-image (or how we view ourselves).
Even as we fight it, we’re socialized to think that way. Nonetheless, fight it, Sis! Fight that urge to conform and the “messaging” that says we are how we look and what we reveal.
Don’t fall for that “okey doke.” When we intentionally showcase body parts (some of which are best left to private arenas …like marriage), we must contemplate our motives.
Why am I doing this? Wearing this?
The poll I mentioned earlier made it clear what those women are trying to get in the workplace. In reality, what would you say Christ-following, Jesus-loving Christian women are trying to “get” when they present themselves to the world in seductive ways or worse when they bring it to the house of the Lord?
The irksome question becomes ‘what exactly am I trying to accomplish with my clothing choices?’
Is it to secure a husband or a boyfriend?
Is it for the instant [and fleeting] gratification of that second glance from men in the church?
Or is it to just be sexy in general and if so, why is that your motivator? Does any woman really want a man to choose her based on hips, lips, or fingertips?
When will we ever learn he may select you for the shallow exterior, but it will never be enough to keep him with you? Your appearance will fade. Then what do you have left?
Again, I am not judging. I promise I am not. I’m just asking why do women dress sexy for church?
Look, I’m simply pondering, questioning, probing, and challenging. That’s what I do as a thinking woman. If it makes you angry, ask yourself “why?”
I don’t think we should judge or mistreat women who are spiritually or mentally immature.
Our role is to do what my grandma did- just love them into the “kingdom”. In fact, that’s how someone dear to me (Ileana Watson) described my grandmother once. She said, “Mother Mills just loved us into the kingdom.”
That’s our role. Not to criticize, judge or demean. So, with my stance clear, let’s continue.
Mixed nuts make a better snack!
Think about it. A typical Sunday at most any church is sprinkled with a myriad of colors, shapes, sizes, and personalities.
That’s a good thing. It’s more fun to be a combination of “nuts” …it keeps like interesting!
There should not be one homogeneous style or acceptable “look” in the Body of Christ. Hey, it takes all kinds.
The question to explore is one of critical thought, not to encourage assimilation. No way should we all look the same. That’s not what I’m saying at all.
Even so, as we journey through life, it’s important to think about our motivations and how we want to be perceived.
As we adorn ourselves, we should ask ourselves: “What message do we hope to convey to the men, women, boys, and girls in our sphere of influence?”
One of the challenges we, as women, have is how to be in this world, yet not be of it.
Do we want them to look at us and presume confidence, strength, and personal security? One the other hand, would we prefer them to see us as needy, sexually insecure, and a little desperate?
Think about it. In the end that’s how women who dress that way for church (or anyone else) comes across.
To be clear: I’m not talking about salvation. A woman can come to church in Daisy Dukes and still be saved. Although her spiritual maturity may be questioned by some.
A mature person understands perceptions and the power of supposition. That’s why we don’t wear pajama bottoms to work. Presentations are important.
Please see me as skilled, seasoned and confident in God.
I’ll use my “I” voice for a moment. What do I want people to surmise about me at first glance? What exactly would I hope they discern about my integrity or my ideals based on how I look and “show up” in the world and in church? It seriously is a question worth pondering, don’t you think? Sometimes that is why you are the “baby’s mother” and not the wife. Seriously. Think about it. It’s how you present yourself to the world. I’m sorry. It’s true.
Does every social media post show your body in ways that objectify you? Please ask yourself why? Think about it. Get mad at me if you wish, but think about it. I love you enough to be honest. Accept it or reject it. Either way, GodsyGirl is a Christian lifestyle blog that talks about LIFE!
Now, back to the topic and a little confession.
Confession Time… I was so into it…
Hey, are you old enough to remember Calista Flockhart as Ally McBeal?
I am. I loved that show back in the day!
Anyway, during those years (it was the 90s), I hopped on the bandwagon with everyone else and was wearing those short, short, SHORT skirts.
I worked in an office so mine looked a lot like the suit in the pic to the right.
Let me tell you, I thought I was straight bomb (i.e. cute)!
My legs looked ten miles long in my high-heeled pumps clacking against the marble floor. I worked downtown in my city and most women in banking had on similar suits – at least the ones my age. #Conforming #Assimilating
Well. Girl. I woulda had you asking yourself “why do women dress sexy for church?“
One bright, sunny Sunday morning, I decided to wear one of those suits to church.
Looking ever so cute, I walked through the foyer with my usual swagger, greeting folks, offering hugs, and smiling.
As I continued through the massive lobby, I became aware of the numerous pairs of eyes dropping downward toward my naked upper thighs.
Some people just observed and kept going.
Others appeared to judge. Then there were a few of those guys that gave me that yucky, lusty look creepy men are so good at.
I felt weird. I felt reduced. I felt a little stupid.
Here I was a saved, smart woman on an executive floor during the week, yet, I felt like someone’s tramp in my own church.
It wasn’t anyone’s fault either. It was my own. I packaged myself in cheap wrap and didn’t like the result of it.
As I found my seat in the sanctuary, I wished I had one of those “sanctified” hankies (with the lace trim) to cover myself.
AND …NO ONE TOLD ME THOSE SKIRTS GOT EVEN SHORTER WHEN I SAT DOWN! I had to have known, but I guess I was oblivious.
My discomfort grew physical as I fidgeted to position my legs just “right” so as not to show my “business” to the pulpit and the world. They didn’t ask for that nor should they be exposed to it!
Let’s be clear. I’m a pretty confident person, so I didn’t so much care about other people’s opinions as much as how I felt
I felt cheapened by my own clothes. The feeling shrunk my confidence and I never forgot it. Needless to say, I never wore those sorts of suits or skirts again…ANYWHERE!
I’m concluded I was/am better than that. So are you. So is EVERY woman.
The Entire Point of “why do women dress sexy for church?”
Godsy Girl.com is designed to inspire growth, challenge the status quo, and make us all think. So tell me, what do you think?
If so many women in the workplace dress to tantalize in order to move ahead, why do women do it in the church?
Is it appropriate to show cleavage or other sexually stimulating body parts in the house of God? If so, why? If not, why not?
To be clear, I’m talking about this term in the traditional, overly-exposed sense of the word (revealing body parts that do not need to be revealed in church). Don’t come at me with “someone can think a wool coat is sexy.” Please! You know what I mean.
Alright. Now, is it ok to be sexy in the place of worship? Why or why not?
I’ll await your answers….I’m “scurred”….(Not really.)
GodsyGirl is a Christian lifestyle blog featuring Christian faith articles written by an ordinary Christian woman blogger, Christian inspirational podcaster, and a pastor’s wife. GodsyGirl is about Christian inspiration and living your fullest life as a fabulous Christian woman. Explore GodsyGirl.com to find articles on everything from daily Christian living to hair, makeup, and living your absolute best life!
8 thoughts on “Dressing Sexy for Church?”
Thanks for your response. I think there is a fine balance we must find. I do agree with much of what you said as it pertains to a young Christian. I also believe we must grow past some in-maturities toward becoming the type of women God is calling us to be. Thanks again for your reply. It’s been quite some time since I wrote that post and your comments are very insightful. Blessings!
So here is my thought. It doesn’t matter how she comes as long as she comes the fact that she is there means that there is a drawing in her heart soul and spirit I am more concerned about the condition of those than her flesh. If the church is allowing the spirit to freely move and if the members are growing spiritually then the love of God will cover her nakedness and and the test she faces will become her testimony as she grows in Christ and the testimony she gives may help another woman develop and grow who has the same issues the church has to become a place where people can love people right where they are. If must become a gouse of change where people come in one way but but their lives are transformed by the renewing of their minds. i could go on but the spirit wants me to rest on this lets not look on the outer appearance nor should we focus on the flesh we have to teach and train. All people to develop an intimate and personal relationship with God and challenge them to live totally obedient to his word. Come as you are ladies once you know my savior you will never be the same
I totally agree! Every Sunday there are women in my church who dress so provocatively that I’m embarrassed for them. They wear skirts so short that if they bent over it would show their privates! How can any woman think that is ok in church?
There is a different between being fashionable and being seductive. We must Christianity and not boobs and butts in church.
Every Christian woman ponders about this and I so can relate. It’s not dressing “sexy” for church. I’m sure we don’t do that and we know what going there is for. But why dress frumpy or mediocre, either? I’m sure we’re here to show God’s glory.
I’m glad you’ve opened up a topic like this! I can relate. Remember Proverbs 31 woman dresses in fine linen and purple which is like the Armani and Prada of her day. Why can’t we?
Amen. I’ve gotten a lot of emails that echo your sentiments. I’m just glad we’re thinking…and talking about real world issues.
love this post Godsy Girl! It seems as though the enemy of our souls knows exactly what lies to whisper to create insecurities – oh if we only truly understood believed who we really are in HIM, we wouldn’t experience half the defeats we do –