No one wants to talk about it. But, it is a very real struggle in the lives of Christian men and women. I’m talking about…*whispering* L-U-S-T. I felt motivated to write this post to help others explore how to stop lusting and get victory in their own lives.
Actually, I’m talking about lust and the mature Christian. Everyone knows how to be a weak Christian, but what are the steps to handling this challenge as a mature one?
Christian Purity …
Lust is a spiritual ailment many preachers wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole on Sunday mornings. I wonder why. I’m not being sarcastic, although it may seem so. I really do wonder why. When so many people struggle with how to stop lusting Ignoring this topic is a huge mistake.
Why? Because strength, redemption, and deliverance are in the Word of God. We can be stronger than our desires. I’m proof of that…after many failures, but I found victory in Christ.
In other words, I matured and you can too. I’m not perfect, but lust is one of the vices I figured out.
We need to hear that time and time again – “you can too.” The Word is like a spiritual blueprint directing us how to handle all types of sin and temptation in our daily lives. Lust is no different.
We have hope on how to stop lusting!
We can overcome lust and prevent it from leading us in a path contrary to God’s desire for us.
The beauty is the Bible doesn’t just tell us about such things, but, it shows us vivid examples of what various forms of sin- including lust- can lead to and offers us tools and resources to overcome it by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Lust is no different than lying, stealing, or any other sin. So, why keep it all “shhh shhh” secretive?
Remember who you’re sinning against.
You know, the funny thing about Sin is we forget who is ultimately impacted. Guess what. I am not talking about you.
I’m talking about the one you claim you love. I’m talking about the Lord. It dawned on me today when we lust we are usually thinking about ourselves. We are focused on what we want, how we will feel, what looks good to us, and what will make us feel good. Do you see how selfish and childish this is?
“How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” Genesis 39:9
Joseph wasn’t pondering only how to stop lusting. As a “victim” of a luster, his focus was on the Lord. It wasn’t just about what he “could” do for his own pleasure.
When we entertain our lust (sin) and eventually lead to sin, we are sinning not only their own body but we are sinning against God. How in the world can you say you love God and do this horrible thing against him?
How is it remotely possible to say you’re grateful to him and intentionally you are a wicked thing against him?
One step further, how can you and on a Sunday and worship him and yet you sin against him willfully, intentionally with your eyes and your heart?
Keep in mind who you’re sitting against and unless your heart has turned to stone or rebellion, it’ll help you make the right decision. Let’s keep going.
Let’s get empowered instead of being scared to talk about how to stop lusting!
The Bible says lust is the precursor for sin.
Check it out:
“but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” James 1: 14-15
Lust happens in our minds…FIRST!
It’s linked to what we watch (on television/computer), what we think about (imagine), and even the music we listen to – all these shapes our thinking and influence our musings.
As a single woman, I had done things “my way” long enough and knew God’s way had to be better than mine as it pertained to dating and stuff. I knew this because doing things that satisfied my body only left me empty.
Like eating a candy bar when you’re starving. Sure, you’ll feel good for a minute, but you’re not really satiated…regardless of that commercial. You’re still hungry.
The first step of a turnaround is “turning around”
So, I determined to live holy and REAL (i.e. consistently living according to His word to the best of my ability).
I knew God would not tell me (in His word) to live without sex until marriage without giving me the strength and power to resist it – but I had a responsibility in the process as well. All mature Christians have a role to play in their own deliverance.
As a single woman, I learned, early in my journey, that I couldn’t watch love scenes on television. I had to turn away at movie theaters. Sometimes I would secretly close my eyes so I didn’t look at it.
Watching those scenes reminded me of past sensations and triggered lustful desires. I just couldn’t go there in life or in my mind- not if I wanted to stay pure for the long haul. Not if I wanted to be a mature Christian.
Let’s talk my practical experience with how to stop lusting
Here are some of the practices that helped me finally (and it took a minute) walk in victory over lust and pre-marital sex:
1. Not too much alone time with him. Being alone with a gorgeous guy awakes desires and wants…you know what I mean, Girl. Say goodnight and send him home. Trust me; it helps to get him out of sight.
Hey, Christian woman, if you’re married and attracted to another man, RUN! Do not spend time with him. Do not text him. Do not linger around him. It’s wrong and will lead to a place you don’t want to go or be.
2. No kissing. This was a difficult one, but just like the ‘being alone’ thing and watching love scenes, kissing presented it’s triggers. I was tired of sin reigning in my life. I was tired of being the woman Godly men would not marry…only “hang out” or only “kick it with”.
I wanted a change. I wanted to know how to stop lusting and how to be pure in my mind and my heart. I wanted to look at a handsome man and not try to “get him” or look at him the wrong way.
I wanted to be holy before God and not always repenting over the same stupid thing (i.e. premarital sex).
Eliminating kissing worked for me. It didn’t work for some of the guys I dated through the years, so I said “Bye” and kept it moving.
At first, it hurt me when they rejected me because of my strict morals, but I knew I wanted better and this was the only way. It proved correct too.
3. Love songs. Don’t laugh. But, in my opinion, love songs can put two people (attracted to one another) in the mood for sex.
So, Luther had to go… back when I was single….even while I was just driving in the car alone. No love songs! Why? Memories are real, and can get you into a world trouble…need I say more?
Basically, some songs can put you in the mood for what can cause trouble…lust and sex! Watch your eye “gate” and your “ear” gate because they dictate what is inside your mind and your heart.
This may sound drastic and I get it. It may even sound impossible, but it really is possible. I”m telling you, I am proof. It’s a lot. I get it.
Still, I needed something drastic to regain my power. I can honestly say I did.
Besides, it’s wrong and you know it.
Sex before marriage is sin; God doesn’t like it. Lust is the initial stage of that sin. The fornication sin is a disservice to you and your life purpose.
It’s a misuse and deformity of God’s plan for family and commitment. Be mature and don’t put yourself in a lustful place of committing it.
Again, it does not please Him. It’s also a sign of weak faith and lack of control.
Engaging in pre-marital sex says to God “I want what I want now and I don’t care what you think about it.” It’s proof you have not matured.
For example, I knew my kid had matured when he finally learned eating an entire bag of cookies wasn’t a good idea for his health. When he was 2, he would do just that if allowed. Around 10, he knew it wasn’t good for his body or his teeth. He began to self-manage. He began to mature.
You need to mature beyond satisfying desires that are not good for you.
Sex before marriage is against God’s law.
Read 1 Thessalonians 4:3, 4, and deal with the issue of lust and the mature Christian.
3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality;
4 that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable,
Another important part…
Plus, sin has consequences. You may not get pregnant. You may not acquire a disease, but you will be affected and scarred in your inner self. A bit of your innocence torn and wounded.
Obedience to God brings blessings, while disobedience brings the curse of guilt and spiritual distance from intimacy with God.
Wondering where are the good men?
You know what? I found that God had something so much better for me than I could ever have imagined or gained playing “house” with some guy.
I’m sorry, but I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I could not have accepted my “wonderful thing” (my husband) if I had allowed my desires to control me.
Some women wonder why they can’t find a good man.
I think the good men are out there, they just don’t choose weak, carnal women. You are invisible to them. I’ve been “invisible” to them too. Then, God showed me how to change my life and obey Him. It made such a difference over time.
Let me say it again: perfect, I was not, but, once I committed, I committed. Once I did commit to being a mature Christian, I stopped attracting the compromising men. Seriously.
So many single women want an authentically Godly man. (Again, they are out there).
Nevertheless, many of those sorts of men are not willing to risk themselves for a woman who cannot even control her own body.
Similarly, many truly, for real, Godly women feel the same way – the last thing they need is some weak, lusty man. Who wants that? A dude like that will bring nothing but trouble one day. Run!
I hope this blessed you, challenged you, and encouraged you. I hope it took a practical approach on how to stop lusting.
It did me good to reflect a bit. God has brought me a long, long way. He will bring you to victory too.
I think I’ll go hug my husband right now. 🙂
Let me say it again…perfect, I am not.
Have I said that enough yet?
Christian Lady, I made lots of mistakes, Girl.
However, I made none after I employed the “Top 3” rules listed above. They really helped me.
And praise God, I (finally) learned that giving away my body was a huge mistake and a barrier to my own self-image. I pray every woman of God, every woman of Christian maturity learns the same.
No Condemnation Allowed!
Don’t forget: God is the God of “another chance”. It’s never too late to start over. Read 2 Corinthians 7:10. Lord knows, I needed lots of chances, but praise Jesus for sustained victory over my desires!
God will keep you if you want to be kept. You will have to say “no”, when you wish you could say “yes”. You will have to deny yourself and you will have to walk away when everything in you wants to stay in his arms.
You may be alone, but you’ll be a “standout” and attract the kind of man you’d want to “do life” with.
Set apart. You’ll be special.
It will be difficult, but you can do it by the power of Jesus Christ.
Sorry if I offended you. NO, I’M NOT!!! The days are over for ‘milk toast’ Christianity. The struggles are real. People want to know how to live victoriously. Come on, pastors and Sunday school teachers. Start teaching about the real struggles of life.
Am I right?
Check out why we really should wait blog post.