No one wants to talk about it. But, it is a very real struggle in the lives of many Christian men and women. I’m talking about…*whispering* L-U-S-T. The culture contributes to this struggle as does the lack of knowledge. So many of us don’t understand how crucial it is to guard your eyes and your heart. Since this is a huge problem for many, I felt motivated to write this post to help others explore how to stop lusting and get victory in their lives. As I go along, I’ll list some Bible verses against lust, but let’s explore this vice a bit first.
Actually, I’m talking about lust and the mature Christian. Everyone knows how to be a weak Christian, but what are the steps to handling this challenge as a mature one?
Aside from that, if you are a fairly new Christian, you’re still learning how to manage temptation and all it’s manifestations, but, still, this post can give you some insights and tips.
Lust is looking at someone with impure thoughts, usually in ways that imagines, ponders, or are posits fornication.
Christian Purity …
Lust is a spiritual ailment many preachers wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole on a Sunday morning.
I wonder why.
I’m not being sarcastic, although it may seem so. I really do wonder why.
When so many people struggle with how to stop lusting I think ignoring this topic is a huge mistake and a missed opportunity.
Why? Lust is no different than lying, stealing, or any other sin.
So, why keep it all “shhh shhh” secretive?
Strength, redemption, and deliverance are in the Word of God.
We can be stronger than our desires with the Holy Spirit’s help and with direction from the Bible. It can teach us what to avoid and even what not to gaze upon.
We can conquer lust and I’m living proof of that…after many failures as a young single woman I finally found victory in Christ.
In other words, I matured and you can too.
To be clear, I’m not perfect, but lust is one of the vices I figured out back in the day.
The Word of God is like a spiritual blueprint directing us on how to handle all types of sin and temptation in our daily lives. Write down the scriptures I reference in this blog post.
Lust is no different. It is a sin and dogged temptation. Turn to the Word if you struggle in this area.
Bible verses against lust will keep it on your spiritual radar!
We can ALL overcome lust and prevent it from leading us on a path contrary to God’s desire for us.
The beauty is the Bible shows us vivid examples of what sin – including lust – looks like AND what it can lead to. Aside from these relatable examples, it additionally offers tools and resources to help us deal with it.
Great news, right?
Remember who you’re sinning against…
You know, the funny thing about sin is we forget who is ultimately impacted by it.
Guess what. I am not talking about you or your loved ones.
I’m talking about the One you claim you love; the one Who really matters.
I’m talking about the Lord.
“How then could I do such a wicked
thing and sin against God?” Genesis 39:9
In the [above] Bible verse against lust, Joseph was the object of Potiphar’s wife’s lust.
As a “victim” of a “luster”, his focus was on the Lord. It wasn’t even on himself or what he “could” do for his own pleasure. It was on God. Think about that. Isn’t that mind-blowing?
When we entertain our lust (sin) and it eventually leads to sin, we are sinning not only against our own body but we are sinning against God.
How in the world can you say you love God and willfully do this horrible thing against him? How can I?
As I mentioned before, the Bible says lust is the precursor for sin.
Look at another one of the Bible verses against lust I found:
“but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” James 1: 14-15
“You selfish “thang” you. :D”
It dawned on me just today that when we lust, we are usually thinking about ourselves. It’s a selfish activity.
We are focused on what we want, how we will feel, what looks appealing to us and what will make us feel good in the moment. We are not even thinking about the object of our lust as humans with dimensions and feelings. Do you see how selfish and childish this is?
Lust happens in our minds…FIRST!
This ugly vice is linked to what we watch (on television/computer), what we think about (imagine), and even the music we listen to – all these shape our thinking and influence our musings.
When I listen to seductive music or watch movie scenes depicting intimate situations, it deposits images into my mind and incites feelings as well. It can trigger memories or sentiments.
All of which can create an unGodly line of thinking. No good.
When I was a single woman, I had done things “my way” long enough and knew God’s way had to be better than mine as it pertained to dating and such. I knew this because doing things that satisfied my body only left me feeling empty, and far too often, alone.
Like eating a candy bar when you’re starving. Sure, you’ll feel good for a minute, but you’re not really satiated…regardless of what commercials says.
You’re still hungry.
That’s the way love relationships modeled after Hollywood [instead of the Bible] leaves you…empty and longing for something more substantive.
The first step of a turnaround is “turning around”
So, years ago, I determined to live holy and REAL (i.e. consistently living according to His word to the best of my ability).
I knew God would not tell me (in His word) to live without sex until marriage without giving me the strength and power to do it – but I had a responsibility as well.
All mature Christians have a role to play in their own deliverance. Yes, you’ll need to read your Bible and even perhaps memorize a few bible verses against lust. Memorizing these scriptures will help you transform your mind and begin to think in different ways – in Godly ways.
As a single woman, I avoided love scenes on television. If I were at the movies, I would look away or secretly close my eyes so I didn’t look at it. To this day, I still do.
God never intended us to “look” at other’s intimate acts. Do you agree?
Anyway, long ago, watching those scenes reminded me of past sensations and activated lustful desires. I just couldn’t go there in life or in “single” my mind- not if I wanted to stay pure for the long haul. Not if I wanted to be a victorious Christian woman.
Practical ways to stop lusting as a single woman
Here are some of the practices that helped me finally (and it took a minute) walk in victory over lust and pre-marital sex:
1. Not too much alone time with him.
Being alone with a gorgeous guy awakens desires and wants…you know what I mean, Girl. Say goodnight and send him home. Trust me; it helps to get him out of sight and outta your house!
Hey, Christian woman, if you’re married and attracted to another man, my advice to you is simple – RUN! Do not spend time with him. Do not text him. Do not linger around him. It’s wrong and will lead to a place you don’t want to go or be. In your case, NO time alone with him. Do not allow your thoughts to be about him.
2. No kissing. This was a difficult one, but just like the ‘being alone’ thing and watching love scenes, kissing presented its triggers.
Again, I was tired of sin reigning in my life. Similarly, I was tired of being the woman Godly men would not marry…only “hang out” or only “kick it with”.
I wanted to be a woman of Godly reputation.
This was an interior job. I had to work on myself and how I viewed men. I wanted to look at a handsome man and not try to “get him” or look at him the wrong way. My values had to change.
Eliminating kissing worked for me. It didn’t work for some of the guys I dated through the years, so I said “Bye” and kept it moving.
At first, it hurt me when they rejected me because of my strict morals, but I knew I wanted better and this was the only way. It proved correct too.
3. Love songs. I mentioned this before, but it bears repeating. Girl, love songs can put two people (attracted to one another) in the mood for you know what.
So, Luther had to go… back when I was single. Even if I was just driving in the car alone – no Luther Vandross on the radio, Honey. No love songs AT ALL! Why?
Memories are real and can get you into a world of trouble…need I say more?
Basically, some songs can put you in the mood and you don’t need that!
Monitor both your eye “gate” and your “ear” gate because they dictate what will happen inside your mind and your heart.
This may sound drastic and I get it.
It may even sound impossible, but it really is possible. I”m telling you, I am proof.
Honey, I needed something drastic to regain my power. Again, I can honestly say I did and I married a wonderful man of God as a result.
Sex before marriage … God doesn’t like it.
I know what I’m presenting to you is drastic, difficult and for some a little scary. In spite of all that, it is the only way. You can’t allow this (or any other) sin to reign in your heart.
Lust is the initial stage of that sin. The fornication part of sin is a disservice to you and your life purpose.
“…but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.
Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”
It’s a misuse and perversion of God’s plan for family and commitment.
Engaging in pre-marital sex says to God “I want what I want now and I don’t care what you think about it.” It’s proof you have not matured. Remember, selfishness is part of lust.
For example, I knew my kid had matured when he finally learned eating an entire bag of cookies wasn’t a good idea for his health. When he was 2, he would do just that, if allowed. Around 10, he knew it wasn’t good for his body or his teeth.
He began to self-manage. He began to mature.
Just like my kiddo, you need to mature beyond satisfying desires you know are not good for you.
Read 1 Thessalonians 4:3, 4, and deal with the issue of lust and the mature Christian.
3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality;
4 that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable,
Another important part of this equation…the end results!
Christian woman, all sin has consequences.
You may not get pregnant.
You may not acquire a disease, but you will be affected and scarred in your inner self. A bit of your innocence will be torn and wounded. God doesn’t want that for you.
Neither do I.Obedience to God brings blessings, while disobedience brings the curse of guilt and spiritual distance from intimacy with God. Read: Bible verses against lust Click To Tweet
Single Woman: Have you ever asked, “where are the good men?”
The good men are out there. They just don’t choose weak, carnal women.
Those sorts of women are invisible to them.
I’ve been “invisible” to them too. Then, God showed me how to change my life and obey Him. It made such a difference over time. I carried myself differently; I “showed up” in the world differently.
You know what?
I found that God had something so much better for me than I could ever have imagined or gained playing “house” with some guy. Several years of being celibate gave me clarity and anointing.
I’m sorry, but I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I could not have accepted my “wonderful thing” (my husband) if I had continued to allow my desires to control me.
Let me say it again: perfect, I was not, but, once I committed, I committed. Once I lived God’s way and stopped allowing myself to become compromised, I felt victorious AND I stopped attracting the “booty call” men.
So many single women want an authentically Godly man. (Again, they are out there).
Nevertheless, many of those sorts of men are not willing to risk themselves for a woman who cannot even control her own body. Or a woman who shows it off like a commodity on social media.
Similarly, many truly, for real, Godly women feel the same way – the last thing they need is some weak, lusty man. Who wants that? A dude like that will bring nothing but trouble one day. Run from him just as Joseph did!
This was harsh and I understand that.
It needed to be direct. As I alluded to before, no one is talking about this.
Christian Sister, I hope this blessed you, challenged you and encouraged you.
It also did me good to reflect a bit. God has brought me a long, long way. If you are single or struggling, He will bring you a long way too. Hang in there, Sister.
I think I’ll go hug my husband right now. 🙂
Want to hear my summary? List below.
WAIT! BEFORE YOU GO…
Let me say it again…perfect, I am not.
Have I said that enough yet?
Christian Lady, I made lots of mistakes.
However, I made none after I employed the “Top 3” rules listed above. They really helped me.
And praise God, I (finally) learned that giving away my body was a huge mistake and a barrier to my own self-image. I pray every woman of God, every woman of Christian maturity learns the same.
No Condemnation Allowed!
Don’t forget: God is the God of “another chance”.
It’s never too late to start over. Read 2 Corinthians 7:10.
Lord knows, I needed lots of chances, but praise Jesus for my sustained victory over my desires!
God will keep you if you want to be kept.
You will have to say “no” when you wish you could say “yes”.
You will have to deny yourself and you will have to walk away when everything in you wants to stay in his arms.
You may be alone for a season after you do, but you’ll be a “standout” and attract the kind of man you’d want to “do life” with.
You’ll be special.
It will be difficult, but you can do it by the power of Jesus Christ.
Sorry if I offended you in any part of this blog post.
NO, I’M NOT!!! The days are over for ‘milk toast’ Christianity.
The struggles are real. People want to know how to live victoriously. That is what I did in this Christian women’s post.
Now that I’ve done my part, come on, pastors and Sunday school teachers. Start teaching about the real struggles of life.
Am I right?
Check out why we really should wait blog post.
More scriptures to empower you against lust:
- But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:28
- You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. I Cor 6:13
- For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. I John 2:16
- Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes. Proverbs 6:25
I’m Teri and GodsyGirl is a Christian lifestyle blog featuring Christian faith articles written by an ordinary Christian woman blogger, Christian inspirational podcaster, and a pastor’s wife. GodsyGirl is about Christian inspiration and living your fullest life as a fabulous Christian woman. Explore GodsyGirl.com to find articles on everything from daily Christian living to hair, makeup, and living your absolute best life!