Tell me something. Have you ever been tempted to live “down” so others will feel more comfortable? What I call living down has many connotations. But, when I use it, I mostly refer to making yourself smaller, less, or invisible to make someone who feels threatened by you “feel” better. NEVER DO THAT! Instead, here are my thoughts when people are jealous of you.
Girl, I think jealousy can be a normal emotional reaction, but it can also be dangerous if it goes unchecked.
If someone you know is feeling jealous of your achievements, it’s important to act positively and use effective communication to help them manage their feelings.
That is if you care about them as friends. If not, you have to love them and keep things moving. Never live down to make them feel better or “bigger.”
Others feeling threatened by you isn’t your fault.
Have you ever felt compelled to “live down?” Have you operated beneath your greatness, skills, or talents to make someone else feel more comfortable around you?
How “living down” shows up…
You may be at work and co-workers give you the funny look because you’re speaking knowledgeably about a subject in a meeting. Too bad. So sad. Their problem.
Or you’re in a church meeting, and you come up with some great ideas the leadership loves! Not your fault. If they are feeling threatened, they need to work harder or trust God for their own creativity.
Simple as that.
Maybe, you have a mate who is intimidated by you because you make more money, are more informed, and are quite talented in your own right.
That’s his dilemma.
You’re not responsible for him feeling threatened. God (and yes, this is a Christian blog) created you to be awesome so He can be glorified by your wonderfulness!
Don’t dim it, Girl!
Pssssh… I’m over it!
About fifteen years ago, I’ve learned it is not my concern when people are feeling intimidated or inferior to me.
Look here, I don’t live my life trying to make others uncomfortable or demeaned, that would be…just..mean.
Who has time for that?
Know this: I’m never trying to “one-up” ANYONE…EVER!
It’s just that I read a lot, research a great deal, and have been blessed with a brain that works well for me. I never attempt to overshadow any other person in any situation.
So, if they are intimidated, that’s between them and God. They just haven’t discovered who they are and what they have to offer just yet. I was the same way at one time.
When people are jealous, they may subconsciously feel like they’re inadequate or that you’re to blame for taking away their spotlight. Get out of here, I say!
Even so, we still have to be kind.
What to say when someone is jealous of you
To help them manage their emotions, it’s important to remind them that your success is due to the hard work that you’ve put in or that God’s favor and timing aligned for you.
Make sure they know that there’s room for everyone to grow and succeed in God’s Kingdom!
Reassuring someone that no one is “at fault” in your achievements can help dissipate any negative feelings and can also open the door for a productive conversation about how they can also strive to achieve their goals. Do you agree?
You could say “I know it can be hard when someone else gets or achieves what you’re waiting for, but God never runs out of opportunities. He’s got you!”
Maybe you can say something like: “I’m so sorry, ______ hasn’t happened for you yet. But, I know it will!”
How to handle jealous people…
In the end of it all, your feeling threatened will not manipulate me!
At the same time, I don’t live my life to make people feel comfortable around me other than walking in love and kindness.
If I know an answer to a problem – and it’s my place to share it – I will share it.
Gone are the days of me sitting quietly because I didn’t want to seem “smart” or as if I was seeking attention. “If you don’t want to know, don’t ask me.” CLICK TO TWEET
No one should have to live “lower” to make others feel okay. At least that is how I see it. How about you?
The same goes for folks who are feeling intimidated by my walk with the Lord.
I’ve experienced weird intimidation as it relates to my Christian lifestyle.
Some people at work simply must accept me as I am…take me as I come. If that means that my lifestyle challenges theirs – ok.
In like manner, I will not live down, hide my faith or try to “fit in” because they are feeling intimidated by my strong faith.
Best case scenario…
Or better yet, what if someone else’s lifestyle and spiritual maturity challenge me to live “up” a bit? I say “Praise God!”
I love being around people whom I admire! They teach me so much! It makes me such a better me! I’ve matured to the point I see them as resources and not competition.
Back In the Day…
Years ago, I learned exactly who my friends were when I decided to live my life in God’s way. Some folks really gave me the blues when I gave my life to the Lord.
For instance, when I stopped cursing (about twenty years ago), some friends told me “Girl, it doesn’t take all that to be a Christian“. I felt weird and out of place with people I had known for years. Isolation soon followed.
Even so, I knew I couldn’t serve God and have cursing come from the same mouth as blessings.
God helped me change and helped me not care about those feeling intimated. I’m by no means perfect, but that is one vice He helped me conquer (and Lord knows I had a potty mouth and couldn’t seem to change!)
Another example is when I decided to live celibate (yeah, I said it) and wait until marriage for sex. Several folks made fun of me, and some guys even dumped me.
It was OK because I kept my head up; I changed friends and God blessed me in the long run. I met the right one.
My ultimate A-HA Moment…
Then it hit me: I don’t have to live my life in ways to make others feel “comfortable” with theirs.
People who really and truly care about me will accept me for who I am: a firm Christian, a knowledge-seeker, and a person who esteems herself by being competent.
If I’m nothing else in this life, I want to be authentic. I want to be real and I want to portray a faith that empowers others to walk out Godly principles.
Add to that my need to contribute to things I’m involved in and I simply don’t have the energy to “live “down for others.
In the end, you have to let people know you’re not going to shrink for them to feel better.
This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it’s important for the jealous person to hear that their negative emotions are not going to keep you from striving for success.
Encourage them to accept their feelings and use them as an opportunity to determine what’s holding them back from making progress in their own goals and dreams.
Let them know that your successes do not define theirs, but rather should serve as inspiration for what’s possible if they continue working hard and never give up.
I want to please the Lord, Christian woman!
One of my endeavors is to lead others to Christ through my lifestyle, words, and conviction. If that makes folks feel strange around me, so be it.
So-o-o-o-o, I’m not going to drink just because you’re drinking, smoke because you’re smoking, curse because you do, or listen to raunchy jokes because colleagues think they are funny!
I will be that chick that says “that’s not funny!” or simply walks away.
If you have a cool blog, share it boldly on your social media and with your family. Who cares if they are threatened because they are not doing something “hard” for God?
No apologies for God’s goodness in your life. Life BIG for Him. Walk in love, but don’t cower, ok?
Additionally, I’ll never know the answer to a problem and remain quiet because someone else doesn’t.
Christian Woman, I hope you do the same!