When someone Christian hurts you…

Congratulate the enemy. He has found a way into my home and it has affected every single one of us – even my child. But, I heal as I write, so I’m going to do that in hopes of inspiring and encouraging someone else who may go through some similar sort of struggle or pain. First, as a Christian woman, I want to make clear you don’t war alone. You don’t have to fight this battle by yourself. God sees what is going on and He will act on your behalf. He has a way of straightening out “mess” and He is with you the entire way.

You know, when I shook the fog off my brain and allowed myself to ingest that truth, I got peace. I hope you do too.

For sure, the Holy Spirit is with us when we go through life’s trials. In fact, Jesus promised He would never leave us nor forsake us, and I “lean in” to that wholeheartedly. I receive it and I accept it. You embrace it too, ok?

Say out loud: “I am not alone. Jesus is with me. He understands my pain.”

“Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.” 
Psalm 27:10

But, why do they – Christians – have to hurt us?

Sometimes, people hurt us intentionally and other times unintentionally.

I don’t think the “why” matters as much as the response we have to it.  

For me, I’ve earned the title the “silent assassin” and it fits. Wait, I don’t go around assassinating people or anything, but I do hold my peace for the most part and fight like a dickens on my knees.

I pray. I pray hard. I pray long. I trust a few whom I know will also pray. Then, I wait to see what God tells me to do about the hurt someone caused me.

Girl, it would be so easy to just fight in the natural or the way the world fights, wouldn’t it?

Boom!

POW!

Smack!

I’m very good at fighting in the natural. However, that’s not our way to do battle as Christians.

God has taught – and is teaching – me to fight in the spirit. Not to hang my head in shame or hide from my adversary. I will not hide from them. I will look them in the eye and trust God to handle them.

That’s what you do too – keep your head up and pray for what you need: strength, wisdom, advice, direction, patience, etc. Then you fight God’s way.

“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.” 2 Corinthians 10:4

“We are not ok”…but really we are.

In pop culture, there is a saying that says something like “check on your_____, we are not ok.” 

Usually, it’s expressing the importance of checking on your friends who are in a specific category because they are indeed struggling.

Normally it’s presented as a joke and sort of funny.  Back when the pandemic was fully executed, I’d see a post that would say “check on your extrovert friends, we are not ok.” I’d usually chuckle. 

Well…

Christian Woman, I want you to know that as you go through this struggle with church hurt, bullies, or all-around horrible people Satan is using, YOU. ARE. OK.

Jesus is with you; He is holding you through every moment and will make sure you remain OK no matter what happens. No matter what they plot…no matter what they do…He will cover you and protect you.

It’s so hard to hurt at the hand of another, isn’t it?

Especially when you love them, and they return your love with a cold shoulder or treat you badly.

My advice is to cry. It does not make you weak.

Feel the pain but remember God will deliver you from it and through it all.

He sees it all.

They may think God’s grace will cover them so they can act horribly, but He will give recompense and consequence. No doubt about it! Which is why you don’t have to do it.

All you must do is be obedient to His word and get through each day until full. healing manifests. And it will manifest – even if your heart is broken at the moment. Let yourself cry to your Heavenly Father. That’s healthy and it is part of the healing process.

Oh yeah. You must do one more thing you absolutely must do.

You likely know what I’ll say next. You have to forgive.

*whew* that’s hard. Still, you’ve got to do it.  

See, forgiveness does not always mean renewed fellowship. Sometimes, you forgive, but you don’t re-enter into that relationship as it was – especially when the trust was broken or someone showed they have no integrity.

For instance, in the case of marital infidelity, even scripture frees you to depart (Matthew 5:31-32, 19:9). 

All this to say, you do forgive after you’ve been hurt. The “after” is how God leads you.  He may lead you to stay in the relationship with the person or to put space between you and them. I don’t care what anyone says, I don’t believe you must always remain in the relationship with them; you do remain at peace with them and be willing to help them or serve them if needed. But, when someone shows you they should not be trusted, it’s ok to do as Paul and Barnabas did and go separate directions…peacefully.

Read about Paul and Barnabas here. the Bible said in the original language they basically threw sharp words at one another…like spears.

I really hope this helps someone. I genuinely am speaking to myself as I type each word.  Hey, being fake has never served me well and I will never resort to it. If I can’t be real, I won’t “be” at all. I’ll always shoot straight on my Christian lifestyle blog and in my real life. This means when I hurt, I share in case it may help you one day.

“It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.” Psalm 119:17

This present situation, although painful, it is a blessing.  It’s in these times God builds spiritual strength and helps us learn His ways. Although I may cry, I rejoice too. I rejoice because I’m being stretched. Sure, a trust has been strained, but God will use that to conform me in His image and anything that does that is worth the pain and the trouble. I do want to be like Jesus.