If you are a woman after God’s own heart, I want you to know that this very minute you are beautiful in God’s eyes. In my experience, hinging our ideas of beauty on anything but Godly principles ends in sheet disappointment. Why? Because our looks change. We change. For instance, we gain weight. We lose weight. Wrinkles creep onto the smooth surfaces of our youthful faces. It is inevitable. Our looks and bodies change. On the other hand, God’s Word and His definition of beauty never change.
You have to know in your heart that you are already beautiful in God’s eyes and don’t need to make yourself appealing according to what popular culture dictates.
This is what confidence looks like. It’s a “knowing” you are beautiful because your perspective of beauty is rooted in God’s truth.
Being beautiful in God’s eyes means being true to yourself, true to God’s word, and not compromising your body or yourself to fit into any secular mold. True beauty comes from the Holy Spirit.
They are trying to “poison” us!
Christian woman, it’s all over the place! You know what I’m talking about.
The reality stars.
The kind of music that spotlights the most private parts of our bodies.
The celebrity faces that have been surgically manipulated to smooth out wrinkles just as one would a rug in one’s kitchen.
Women face a very, distinct, particular challenge to fight the messages that beauty is eternally young and exceedingly seductive.
It’s like brainwashing. Mesmerizing us to believe we are our appearance.
The Word of God tells us something totally different:
A ‘beautiful in God’s eyes’ verse
It reminds me to focus not only on my exterior but also on my heart.
1 Peter 3:3-4. 3
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of
your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
Stupid companies are often run by men AND they give too much power to male opinion.
Big business has discovered – all too well – vain, carnal sensuality is what sells to many women. They have found our vulnerability to want to be considered “beautiful and they are making millions on it!
The worse part is they lean into what is called “objectivation theory” or women internalizing what men think of them and giving it more credence than it deserves. In other words, it gives too much influence to the male gaze (Fredrickson & Roberts, 1997) instead of women rooting our value in who God says we are.
Sadly, suggestive ads and primally-charged messages have become ingrained into our culture and socialization process.
They have become our ‘normal.’ Instead of being offended, the messages” become almost invisible to us, or maybe we become immune to it’s poison over time.
Without derailing myself, let me say one example: Superbowl ads and performances.
I know you know what I mean.
Men who want to define us by our appearance may be why we see the “hot mess” we currently see! Well, one of the reasons.
The result is what we currently see – confused young people, disgruntled older people, and a booming cosmetic surgery industry.
When did being appealing become more important than being smart, creative or being a woman of integrity? When did it happen?
What amazes me is the ubiquity of it all. We can’t live twenty minutes of our lives without a sensually charged message on the radio, television, billboard, or some other form of media.
It’s absolutely everywhere, and in my opinion, it is worse than ever.
Don’t think for one moment it is not affecting us. It’s affecting our husbands, children, and families. Again, it is brainwashing.
Leave the babies alone, Media!!!!!
A few weeks ago, I visited a Girl Scout troop. I designed an activity to help the girls critically think about the pressures women face to conform to the world’s standard of beauty.
Here’s what I did: I brought tons of magazines (I mean TONS!) to them. I wanted the girls to create their own collage of what beauty looks like.
Well, what I found was kind of surprising!
The magazines (i.e. Ladies Home Journal, Woman’s Day, Vogue, and others) had so many sexually-charged images of women I didn’t even want to give them to the girls!
All of them were advertisements for items like jewelry or perfume! But, each used sensual carnality to convey the sales message.
What’s up with that???
It’s no wonder lust is such a stronghold within of our Christian culture. Surely, human nature also has something to do with it, but this culture can’t help!
The Symptom and The Result
You may have heard the new excuse–I mean buzzword in our culture – “sexual addiction”. Is this even a “thing?” Maybe it is, but I still think it may get overused.
Most every man who cannot control his own sinful impulses cries this newly-coined disorder and runs off to rehab. Look, I’m no doctor, and maybe this thing exists in some form.
Still, I think it’s overused and used as a cop-out for people with no self-control or interest in exercising any!
What do you think?
Frankly, I find the issue of this struggle more spiritual than anything else, but, I’ll leave that to another topic and to people more qualified to diagnose such a thing.
Anyway, no matter what you think about my above comment, no one can deny the culpability of sensually-charged media (including movies) and how they affect us all – particularly our men and boys.
The state I’m referencing above is of a Christian website that helps those struggling with images on the topic we are discussing. You can google them.
Anyway, they state forty-seven percent of families say those images are a problem in their home. Not a small number, is it? That’s almost half!
Note: the reason I won’t type the word (or those 3 letters) is for search engine reasons. I don’t want that sort of traffic coming here!
For real though, these images are a serious issue that escalates from what can seem innocent into some lasting and damaging stronghold.
The Word…always return to the Word of God.
The Bible gives numerous warnings and directives for the Christian woman.
As we grow in holiness and allow Him to transform our minds, we become so gorgeous! We become spiritual hotties!
According to 1 Timothy 2:9, we’re to focus more on the inner than the outer.
But ironically, nowhere, absolutely nowhere in scripture are we advised to be alluring physically or arousing to men. Nope!
Still, so many of us hinge our sense of self-worth on the ability to attract and draw that physical attention. Lust is something to overcome, not hope to attract. I wrote a post on that subject here.
We are more than what you see!
Even worse, as I mentioned the media perpetuates this thinking by narrowing women to objects defined by prominent body parts and sensual behavior. I get it in movies and tv shows, but how did it creep into the church?
Did moms stop telling girls how to present themselves to the world?
Did moms begin coming to church in such ways themselves?
Did they compromise their bodies in their homes by allowing inappropriate relationships with men?
I don’t know, but I know we compromised somewhere. We let it in.
It’s no wonder.
The world is busy trying to conform us into it’s image instead of the other way around. That’s why so many of us fall right into society’s cadence of measuring our “appeal” as power and status.
Renewing my mind is a process…
Make no mistake about it, Christian woman. The word of God defines me – and you – by a much higher standard rooted in Christianity.
For instance, I must repeatedly tell myself time and time again that my ultimate sense of worth is rooted in who God is creating me to become in Him not by how I look on the outside.
The beauty of the Lord lives in me (and you) because He beautifies us with salvation!
Psalm 149:4 (KJV)
For the Lord taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation.
See, we are beautiful in the eyes of God because we are HIS!
I must say, it’s an ongoing practice and an ongoing discipline.
It is true, I have to “unlearn” the messages society taught me about how my looks define me.
My ability to think, ponder, and conceptualize are great strengths (i.e. being smart). God can use that.
My desire to give to my community [and even the world] is a beautiful thing. It makes me really stunning. It makes you stunning too!
How about my (and your) ability to care and pray for the hurting? WOW! That’s a beauty mark for sure! When I was younger, I always wanted a beauty mark above my lip like my mom’s. This spiritual “beauty mark” I can have without a dark eyebrow pencil!
You got it as well. You have the beauty mark of love and intercessory prayer.
Yes, I must constantly remind (and recondition) myself daily to be who God tells me I am – not the Super Bowl commercials or the latest fashion wave.
A few scriptures are the cornerstone of my identity. One of them I quote often here on GodsyGirl.Com. Check it out below.
Romans 12:1-2 answers the challenge of living in our salacious society:
“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.”
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (NIV)
Yeah, that’s it.
The Bible helps me as a Christian woman when I’m tempted to conform to this world’s pressure to love a certain way.
To be clear, I am a make a makeup girl. I love it, I wear it and I enjoy it. But, I know what makes me truly pretty. I know WHO makes me pretty.
I accept I am beautiful in the eyes of God and I don’t need anyone else to validate that.
I hope it helps you too as you deal with this challenge of defining yourself by the standards of this stupid world.
Hold fast to the true beauty inside you and all the things that make you genuinely beautiful in God’s eyes.
Bank on what will last forever – your meek spirit and your Christian heart.
Those are the true measurements of beauty. Best part…they will last an ETERNITY!
Fredrickson B. L., Roberts T. A. (1997). Objectification theory: Towards understanding women’s lived experiences and mental health risks. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 21, 173–206.