Christian woman, I have a confession to make. I’m guilty—very guilty. But here’s the thing: I didn’t even realize just how guilty I was until this morning. Before you start shaking your head at me, I bet you are (or have been) guilty of the same thing. So, let me tell you my story.
I have a blog for pastors’ wives, but I had to write this. Bear with me.
God’s Call for a Pastor’s Wife
God has been telling me for years to start something—something that was placed so deeply in my spirit that it burned. This vision has lingered in my heart for so long, but I ignored it. I even talked to my confidants about it and expressed the need for this mission in the Body of Christ.
But did I act? No.
Well, let me back up a bit.
I did start it, but only in the most passive way possible. It started as a simple blog—a small place where I’d share my thoughts. But I didn’t take it seriously. I didn’t even buy a domain for it. I would just dabble here and there. I wrote on it occasionally, sharing some posts, thinking that something was better than nothing. I figured people would find it in Google, read it, be encouraged, and maybe send me some emails. So, I thought that was enough. I thought doing something was good, right? But here’s the truth: “Good” isn’t always “God.”
God demands complete obedience. When He tells us to do something, we cannot just dabble in it. We cannot just experiment with it. We must dive in—head first, clothed in faith—and bring the vision He gave us to reality. We must act, forsaking everything else and moving forward into the purpose He’s called us to. There’s no room for hesitation. Right? We must move forward with God’s plan, trusting His timing.
The Struggle of a Pastor’s Wife and the Transition to Victory
When God planted this vision in my heart, I wasn’t impressed by it at all. It was something I was personally struggling with, and I didn’t want to “show my slip,” if you know what I mean. I didn’t want my business out there for everyone to see. I didn’t want to be vulnerable. But what I didn’t realize was that the struggle was part of His plan all along. He knew that this very struggle would turn to victory, and I would eventually be able to bless other women who were going through the same struggles.
As a pastor’s wife, I know that it can be difficult to open up about personal challenges. But I also realize that God uses our struggles to prepare us for the work He has called us to. I have transitioned to victory. He’s so wise. Why don’t we listen to Him more often?
A Life-Changing Moment of Conviction
Everything shifted for me when I happened to listen to a podcast by Pastor Jerry Dirmman on iTunes one day. I was just driving, randomly choosing a message. I picked one by Christine Caine, and let me tell you, I was both laughing and being deeply convicted all at the same time. I love her stories and her humor, but my heart sank as she spoke about her adoption story.
The whole sermon felt like a spiritual journey that eventually led to a deep, personal conviction. It was the spiritual spanking I needed to receive. And it was thoroughly deserved.
Christine came to my house, metaphorically speaking. But she didn’t just visit—she snuck into a secret room in my heart, full of cobwebs and dusty boxes labeled doubt and insecurity.
The Spiritual Beat-Down That Changed Everything
The beat-down came when she shared how she nearly backed out of launching the A21 Campaign, despite feeling God’s calling on her life. She talked about how she had more excuses than a criminal trying to get out of jail. I felt like she was describing my own struggles—fears, insecurities, doubts.
Christine shared how God uses unlikely people (like me) to do big things for His glory. Her words hit me hard, and I realized that fear had been the enemy of my faith. “Impossible is where God begins!” she said.
She reminded us—reminded me—that we must do what God has called us to do despite the lack of confidence and the uncertainty that follows God’s directives. God isn’t surprised that I’m nervous. He isn’t shocked by my inadequacies. He knew this would be hard. He knew I’d doubt myself. But He’s still calling me to move.
Moving from “Ishmael” to “Isaac” Projects as a Pastor’s Wife
So here’s where the shift happens, Christian woman: I’ve decided to stop nursing my “Ishmael” projects. You know, those half-hearted efforts that I thought were good enough, but never bore the fruit God intended. I thought I could work on a beauty blog or dabble in topics that didn’t align with His calling for me. But, as I reflected on my work, I realized those projects never succeeded the way I wanted them to. They didn’t have His hand on them. I was not anointed to write for a beauty blog. Actually, only the Godsy Girl projects worked and attracted people. Geez!
Honestly, I’m afraid. But, that won’t stop me. I’m not sure if anyone will come, but I can’t be detoured by that either. I’ve got to follow God’s calling, even when it feels uncertain. Please pray for me as I forge ahead into this new ministry. God has revealed my first steps. Pray that I obey them 100 percent.
Dying to Self and Stepping Into God’s Plan
In the end, I must please Him. I must die to self and not let my desire for anonymity hinder what God has planned. So, it’s beginning with my new blog for senior pastor’s wives. Pray for me, for real! This is where I’m stepping out in faith, brick by brick, building the ministry He has called me to.
Note to my cousin/mentor, Eileen: I’m finally moving to build that ministry. Thank you for being part of this journey. Brick by brick, here we go!
As a pastor’s wife, I know how challenging it can be to step out in faith, especially when you feel unsure of yourself. But I’m learning that God is faithful, and He equips those He calls. So, I’m choosing to walk in obedience, trusting that He will guide me every step of the way. And I encourage you, Christian woman, to do the same. Whatever God has placed in your heart—step out in obedience.
Trust His plan, and watch how He moves.
