Christian accountability partner

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Christian Woman, I have been troubled, no concerned …no sickened by the news of a young pastor living a double life. It made me think about the Christian accountability partner concept and how important it is.

It’s not so much that I am angry at the kingdom of darkness, although I am.

Sure, I’m frustrated with sin and how it works against a Christian’s life.

I’m so saddened by the continuous stream of pastors and spiritual leaders that fall – disappointing so many and compromising the faith of some. Those things really bother me and make me said.

But really gets my “goat”…

What really bothers me the most will ruffle a lot of feathers and maybe even offend you.

If it does, I recommend you pray for me and stop reading. After all, your peace is something you must garrison. Don’t let me get in the way of it. Ha!

It nauseated me
Here’s what really bothers me: it’s the fakery and secrets within the church community It’s not uncommon for some pastors to be complete scam artists and phonies.

They preach patience, forgiveness, love, spiritual power in Jesus while living lives of sin and deception.

I understand someone can be overtaken with a fault, but if one is, they should take a break and step down from leadership. They should do it for themselves and for us too.

Faking is the disgusting part – not failing.

Here’s the other thing…

Christian Sister, I am also upset that people keep secrets and hide the sins.

For instance, while some of these leaders live “dirty” defeated lives, people shield them from consequences and some condone their sin with their silence.

Deacons look the other way because they worship the gift.

Wives turn their heads for the sake of the “benefits” or worse, they are financially trapped into the marriages.

I know….I know…

Now, before you get your undies in a wad, let me say I do understand that ALL people (including pastors) are merely human and no one is perfect. I get it.

Every flesh and blood being on this planet is in the heated struggle with sin and temptation. It’s unavoidable.

The Bible tells us that temptation isn’t sinful in itself.

It’s the giving in to it that causes problems.

Thankfully, if we sin, we have an advocate with the Father. Jesus paid it all.

But, the question becomes “is living in constant, continual, habitual sin ok with God?”

If so, then there is no need for the ¾ of the Bible that encourages us to strive toward holy living. What’s the point?

At the same time, we have to live right.

For instance, if we can live in sin, then throw out Galatians 5:1 and stay in bondage.

Also, there is no need for 1 John 1:9. Forget being cleansed from sin, just live in it. While we’re at it, pitch Romans 6:2 out the window too.

We are not powerless to sin!

God has given us the power to resist sin. Plus, He created systems to keep us holy and accountable to one another – a Christian accountability partner.

Whether we’re pastors or not (I’m not), you must have someone in your life in which you may confess your sins so they can restore you to strength. It’s sad that we don’t take advantage of those systems. When we hide our secret sin, it can potentially fester, grow, and develop into a real issue. I think that’s what happens to many of our pastors. They don’t have any Christian accountability partners and they are left to their own devices. With money, power, and a “free reign”, that’s dangerous.

Pray, Saints, Pray

The truth is we must incessantly pray for our pastors and leaders. You have no idea the temptations your pastor struggles within his inner man, the physical demands he grapples with or the financial burden he may carry.

Further, many pastor’s wives choose to smile, and continue on for the sake of the Kingdom, but do know, many are broken, war-worn, and trusting God for the next smile to flash in front of you.

He doesn’t show it…

Hey, you think you know your pastor because you see him a few times each week? I beg to differ; you don’t know him. When you stop by the house and see him and his wife smiling, grinning and laughing, it’s not always the case. You think you do, but you don’t likely know those people. You see a snapshot of their whole.

Let me tell you, you have no clue the trouble, burden, strife, and wickedness that can fester behind the closed doors of a pastor’s home.

Unless you live in that home for more than three months, you see only a minuscule part of that family and have no clue.

But, God knows and He can redeem them, protect them, comfort them and give them strength.

Not all pastors have the same struggles, but all pastors need your prayer. I understand there are ga-zillions men and women of God who are living authentic, real lives before God and man.

All that being true, they still need your prayers. They need God’s wisdom, discernment, conviction, strength, and Holy Spirit. They also need a Christian accountability partner to vent to and rely on.

So do you.

Commit to pray for your leaders, Christian woman. If you love them, STOP esteeming the gift over their souls.

War for them in the spirit. Intercede praying the Word of God over them.

Pray for them to have God’s heart, God’s passion, and be committed to authentic holiness.

Pray God gives them the strength to apply the Word to their own lives and minister to them as He did the weary prophet.

Pray they can be living, walking examples of God’s power and character every single day of the week…not just on Sundays.

Pray God sends them Christian accountability partners to help them and encourage them along the ministry path.

Christian women, there is power in your prayers. Pray fervently for these leaders. We don’t need anymore stories in the press. We need strong, competent leaders to show the world how powerful God is in the lives of His people.

As I’ve said several times, you need a Christian accountability partner too.

1. Pray God sends one…the right one. The worse thing in the world is having the wrong Christian accountability partner. Consider your personalities and spiritual maturity levels. I even say don’t commit immediately. Pray about the relationship a while.

2. Ask a trusted friend or mature Christian women to either be your accountability partner or refer you to one.

3. Create a Christian accountability partner relationship online. It’s so easy to do now with Zoom, Google, or even Skype. Agree to touch base weekly. Give one another goals to accomplish and then report back on progress.

4. Establish ground rules for confidentiality. Promise one another you will not discuss what is happening with ANYONE ELSE at all – not even mates.

5. Establish a time limit. There is no reason for the relationship to go on forever…unless you want it to. Decide early on how long the Christian accountability partner relationship will last.

Accountability will keep you on point and on target. I pray God sends you an amazing new relationship.

Accountability Partners Questions by Christianity Today.com

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