Prayer to forgive someone

Think about it. Humans do fewer things better than failing. Right! Yup, we mess up all the time. Heck, it’s part of our overall make-up! After all, what do you expect of dirt, which is exactly what we were made from? Dirt will do “dirty” things, right? That’s why we need a prayer to forgive someone from time to time.

Also, the Bible says we humans are nothing more than “cracked” ceramic pots walking around like flawless diamonds! We act like we are better than we are at times.

But we are just pottery,

The Bible also calls us “earthen vessels” – but that means nothing more than being a “pot.”

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

2 Corinthians 4:7

As a result, we “blow it” from time to time. Thinking about this is why I wrote this prayer to forgive someone – which is coming later.

First, let’s lay some groundwork to ensure we’re all on the same page about forgiveness.

Indulge an old lady. 🙂 Ok. Let’s go.

No one is perfect.

Face it: we ALL- as human beings – are a HOT MESS!

Absolutely. On our best days, we are still jacked up – but God sees beyond it all.

He desperately loves us and still generously invests in us all the same.

The ACTUAL spirit of God is in some raggedy, frail, accident-prone jars of clay – in other words…you and I.

Wait again! Think about this…

Even before my prayer to forgive someone, let me clear up one thing.

Even as Christians, we can be pretty rank sometimes, right? Yet, God loves us and never withdraws His grace or His forgiveness. So beautiful, right? He models for us how we should love broken people.

The fact that we mess up so much means we likely need forgiveness from others a lot of the time. This is also why we MUST forgive others as well.

After all, forgiveness is the cornerstone of our Christian faith walk. That’s why I don’t understand why we could ever believe it’s okay to walk in unforgiveness.

Who are we to hold anything against ANYONE else with all the harm, sin, and dirt we’ve done and carry in our own hearts or, worse, act out?

This is why forgiveness is so crucial.

Without it, salvation and redemption would be hollow and meaningless.

Having a wonderful, loving Savior means we NEED a wonderful, loving Savior. Perfect folks don’t need salvation (also, for the record, they don’t exist at all!)

Just as we have been pardoned (i.e., forgiven), God tells us likewise to forgive others. That’s why we do it. That’s exactly why we may need a prayer to forgive someone who has hurt us.

I will share one of the MANY times I had to forgive…

Years ago, someone murdered my friend in a very unjust way. Needless to say, I carried the weight of that crime for so many years.

At one point, maybe while I was in my 30s (I’m in my 50s now), it dawned on me how utterly foul my own hands were in the eyes of the Lord. I was born into transgression. I fouled up at every turn. While I didn’t murder anyone, my sins are just yucky in God’s eyes.

I’ve failed time and time again, and since the Lord’s scales don’t see any difference between “big” sins and “little” sins, I was as hellbound as the man who killed my friend in anger and hate. Sin is sin. Yet, I was forgiven and released from the penalty of my sin.

You know the rest… as a result…

I had to forgive him to remain free myself. I had no choice, and neither do you. It took a very, very long time to be totally disengaged from my anger. Nevertheless, I can say I am free of it now.

When memories pop into my mind, I have to forgive him again. It’s a process – one I’m committed to completing.

Forgiveness is not optional.

As Christian women, we don’t have a choice about forgiveness.

We have to forgive the people who hurt us. It is as plain as that.

As a matter of fact, if we don’t forgive them, we won’t be forgiven ourselves! Yikes!

Check out Matthew 6:14 and 15:

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 

But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.“

So, how do we forgive?

The answer is simple, but the process isn’t always so easy. Sorry.

Here’s the skinny, in my opinion: it takes a while to forgive someone – whether you’re a Christian or not!

Yep, we forgive in pieces.

When someone wrongs you, imagine the offense is written on a huge whiteboard.

When you remember it (and you will!) or feel its pangs of it (and you will!), imagine yourself picking up the eraser and erasing it and no longer charging it to their “account.”

Now, be gentle with yourself through this process.

It’s hard. So hard that many give up on the process altogether.

Similarly, you may have to repeat this over and over again, depending on how deep-seated the hurt is.

It may take weeks, months, or even years to forgive some people genuinely, and that’s okay. Don’t you agree?

Before we pray the prayer and forgive,
let’s think it through a bit.

Here are some common questions about forgiveness. Let me know if you agree with my answers.

Q. “What if they don’t apologize?”

A. Doesn’t matter. Just be obedient to God’s word and keep your heart free from the bitterness that usually comes from long-term unforgiveness. Girl, bitterness will destroy you spiritually and eventually even physically if you hold it in.

Check out June Hunt’s book on forgiveness (click the image below). You may have heard of this Christian counselor from her powerful radio show. It’s good! Click here to learn about Hope for the Heart. Gird up your loins! It will change your life! Really.

Q. “What if they want to remain friends?”

A. Pray about it. Continued fellowship is not always possible after betrayal.

Here’s why: some “offenders” have been so wounded by others they continually perpetuate a cycle of torment and pain. It’s like they can’t help themselves.

Have you heard the saying: “hurt people tend to hurt others?”

It’s true. Abusers tend to abuse others. It’s a wicked and sad pattern.

Fellowship with a person that hurt you must be carefully considered; you must pray about it. 

Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you.

Frankly, I have no interest in being “friends” with the man who murdered my friend.

All I would do is let him know he is forgiven; beyond that, I have nothing for him. Actually, we were not friends before, so my scenario is not really applicable here.

Anyway, if the person is able to love you and healthily befriend you, then go for it. However, if they are plagued by extreme negativity, unhealthy patterns, and disloyalty, you may have to distance yourself for a while or forever.

If you feel directed to continue the relationship, I think you must first heal, and they must first become whole.

The goal, I think, in most situations (not all!) should always be reconciliation. Do you agree? Am I wrong?SOME TIME

IMPORTANT NOTE: Again, I think you should pray about it because God may want to use you to be His light in their lives. They could be your assignment. So, pray, pray, pray for guidance.

Listen to this article on my podcast:

Remember … the forgiven must forgive.

In short, God made forgiveness possible for us to enjoy the blessings of His kingdom; we must make it available to others.

There’s liberty and freedom in living a lifestyle of forgiveness. God demonstrated forgiveness to us so that we can demonstrate it to others.

Let’s strive to walk it out! First, let’s pray our prayer to forgive someone!

---

My sample prayer to help you forgive someone.

Father, you taught me how to pray, and in your prayer, you said I must forgive other people who have harmed me. I have no choice. Yet, in my heart, I want to be like you, so I choose to forgive.

Lord, please help me forgive___________________ right now. He/she has created so many problems for me. They hurt my heart and wounded my spirit. I literally feel a bruise on my heart as a result of him/her. I can’t live this way because I know it will make me angry, bitter, and untrustful.

I also cannot live this way because, if I do, I will live in disobedience to you. I don’t want that because I love you, and I don’t want that because I know you must discipline such behavior.

Father, I know your discipline is because you love me. Still, I want to walk in obedience.

Lord, empower me by the Holy Spirit to be forgiving. Change my heart. Help me replace memories. Help me not ponder what was done to me but rather on the glory you have put before me.

As I go through this forgiveness process and as I pray this prayer to forgive others, help me remember I, too, am guilty.

I’ve made so many mistakes and received forgiveness. Help me to forgive those who make mistakes as well.

So, today, I release ____________________ from their offense. I wipe their slate clean. Please heal my heart. When I see ________________, I don’t want to feel anger or bitterness. I don’t want to harbor those things in my heart. Instead, I want a peaceful heart and a heart open to love and forgiveness.

Tell me, Father, if I should be “friends” with _____________ again. I do realize he/she may have patterns in their life that require healing for them to be in healthy relationships. Let me know what to do and help me to want to do it.

For now, I pray for ______________. I pray you to forgive him/her for what they did to me. I pray you bless them in every area of their life. Bless their health, Lord. May they enjoy years of good physical health. Bless them with good relationships in their lives and lots of people who love them. Bless them financially, meet every one of their needs, and give them the desires of their heart.

Just as you forgave me, I forgive _____________________ this moment. As memories re-surge, I will forgive __________________ again.

I will be obedient to your word. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

---

“But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you,” Matthew 5:44

The work beyond this prayer.

Prayer is NOT a “1” and Done

You’re likely going to pray to forgive others several times, and that’s okay.

Memories are real, powerful realities. One memory can re-ignite anger and bitterness, Christian woman. So, be gentle with yourself, ok?

Indicators you have NOT forgiven someone:

1. You talk constantly about the pain they caused you.

2. When you see them, your face still gets hot, and you feel that thing in the pit of your stomach.

3. You cannot pray for them to be blessed and prosper for two straight weeks. (Try it! As you saw in the gray box above, the Bible tells us to pray for those who hurt us. If you can’t, you likely need to work on forgiveness, Girl!)