Question: better off single?
I’ve been asked numerous times: “Is your life better now that you’re married?” I’ve asked myself the same question and wondered if I was better off single?
As the story goes, I was a single mom for almost fourteen years when I met my husband. Tying the knot for the second time unquestionably reshuffled my world, but did it make it better?
Right after I got married, people always seemed to inquire whether my new life was as “dreamy” as I’d expected.
Sometimes yes, other times, no. Some days he looked like the prince charming dude (chocolate version) in Cinderella. Other times, he annoyed me to know end. Such is life.
Many single women fantasize about meeting “Boaz” and living the “princess” fairy tale.
You know, the older I get I see the complexity of what I used to think was simple. For instance, as with many things in life, “good” or “bad” is overly simplistic. Few things fit neatly into a “box” of good or bad – better or worse. It’s complicated.
Wouldn’t it be nice if life were that simple? But, it’s not.
In reality, ‘just add man and stir’ doesn’t necessarily make life better or worse. I guess it can if you marry a ‘nut;’ then it is definitely worse, but we’re not talking about that right now.
My life before him.
My life was pretty good as a single woman. Sure, it had challenges., still, it wasn’t all bad. I had suffered much, endured much and cultivated an identity of strength and resilience. Around the time I met my husband, I’d healed from many (but not all) of life’s most traumatic scars. My goals were coming within reach and my career was flourishing. Daily, I was learning to trust Jesus as my Husband (Isa. 54:5) and He delivered. He met my every need for my finances, my friendships and my spiritual growth. Challenges and all, life was pretty good.
Back to the Question…
Is my life better now that I’m married? I would say “yes” on some levels. Better because I know Jesus more intimately than I did before. Is that a result of marriage? Not necessarily, but I think it’s part of it.
John’s “call” to ministry regularly humbles and conforms me (squeezes me) into the image of Christ – that’s a good thing. However, my ‘better’ life is a direct result of me still relying on Jesus to be my Rock and Sustainer just as much as I did before. I need Him just as much.
Challenging then…same now…
Hardships come now that I’m a wife; they came when I was single. Bottom line: struggle is certain, but somehow God keeps getting better and better!Life can be tough, but through it all, God keeps being better and better. Click To Tweet
Honestly, I attribute the escalating happiness in my life to being exactly where I’m supposed to be in this season – trials and all.
My husband was the cherry on the pie of my life, but not the pie; not even half of the pie.
I don’t think my husband would have married me had I thought he was the pie. The pie is my destiny in Christ and allowing Him to prepare me for His best use of me. He’s doing that each day as He molds me into who He wants me to become. The fact that I’m excited about that makes my life better that it was before. So, yeah…I guess my life is better since I’ve gotten married – but not for the reasons most would think.