You may already know the answer to the above question, or you may not have a clue. Even still, you may want to read this to see if I’m crazy or not (I might be).

See, lots of Christians hold the belief that men and women should not hug in church due to various reasons. Most of them are rooted in cultural, religious, or personal convictions. I have so many thoughts on this; I’m sure you do, too. Hence, this post is all about “Is hugging a sin in Christianity?” As you can imagine, it is not a simple cut-and-dry question. A simple “yes” or “no” will not suffice. As with so many things in our faith, I think the answer is complicated.

To be clear, as I write this, the question I am posing, “Is hugging a sin in Christianity?” is about whether men and women should hug in church settings.

I’m NOT talking about whether they should hug in dating relations or in general.

For further context, it is important to state my opinions about whether or not hugging a sin in Christianity is mine and mine alone. They are not my husbands.

I do not speak for him, nor does he for me.

Okay. Now, let me show you how I’ve organized this blog post.

Why is this even a question?

Why would someone ask, “Is hugging a sin in Christianity?”

In my experience, I think this sort of inquiry reflects a desire to uphold traditional values of modesty and propriety.

Let me share my story.

I grew up in the Church of God inwhich is a version of the Assembly of God denomination.

When I was growing up, it was very legalistic.

There were rules, and those “rules” determined one’s salvation, at least in some people’s eyes.

One rule was that you could not wear pants, although I did.

Another was you could not wear makeup. But I did.

Thankfully, my family did not hold me hostage to the “works” way of thinking.

While some church members did not agree with how I lived my life or were not allowed to live it, I was free from much of that stuff.

Anyway, to my point.

Hugging between brothers and sisters was highly discouraged back in those days. The same was true for the Southern Baptist school I attended.

Like my church, they believed that physical contact, as well as wearing sleeveless shirts or having your knees showing, could cause a man to stumble.

Sheesh. I’ll get to that later.

For now, what I am doing here in this section is giving you context as to why some people may think it is a sin to hug a Christian brother.

Others may view physical contact [between genders] as inappropriate because it can cause unnecessary speculation or gossip.

Additionally, there are theological perspectives that emphasize maintaining boundaries to prevent any appearance of impropriety or to safeguard against potential temptations.

Different interpretations of religious teachings, cultural norms, and individual comfort levels lead to varying attitudes about physical affection between men and women in church settings.

Okay.

Thanks for letting me explain why people may be asking this question and share some reasons from my personal experience.

Let’s move on.

But, first a shameless plug for my new book!

Click here for the ebook (it is cheaper here).

Click here for a hard copy on Amazon.com.

The Bible and Christian Familial Love

One of the cornerstones of the Body of Christ is its love.

When they come to church, I think everyone should feel a 360-degree blanket of love, acceptance, and support.

After all, scripture plainly illustrates a beautiful picture of Christian love and unity, presenting the church as the bedrock of faith and acceptance. Love and hugs are part of that.

Do you agree?

At the heart of this theme is Jesus’ commandment, found in John 13:34-35, where He directs His disciples to love one another as He has loved them, underscoring love as the essential hallmark of genuine discipleship.

John 13:34-35
NIV

³⁴ “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

³⁵ By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

After reading this, how would you respond to the question: Is hugging a sin in Christianity?

Personally, I believe that if it is approached in a familial manner, as presented by Word, it can be fine to hug in church.

I believe the love He wants us Christians to show one another is exemplified with affection.

Simple gestures like a pat on the shoulder, a hug, or a kiss on the cheek or forehead are more wonderful expressions of Christian love.

Hugs and Unity

Unity is a togetherness that all church members should strive to embody.

A unified bond allows everyone to feel connected and part of a family. It is a medium for us to support one another in our spiritual journeys.

Could hugging be part of a church environment where love, compassion, and understanding thrive?

Look at the next scripture.

Ephesians 4:3 underscores the effort required to maintain unity through the bond of peace. See below:

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

(Ephesians 4:3)

Could hugging be a demonstration of peace among church family members?

Do you think Jesus hugged women?

Probably not, because of the culture He was in.

He also wore a tunic, which is not what we require men to wear today.

Let me explain what it is:

The garment that Jesus and men of his time commonly wore was called a “tunic” (or “chiton” in Greek). The tunic was a simple, knee-length, sleeveless, or short-sleeved garment that was worn next to the skin. Over the tunic, men often wore a mantle or cloak called a “himation.” The himation was a larger, rectangular piece of cloth that could be draped over the shoulders and wrapped around the body for additional warmth and modesty. These garments were typically made from wool or linen, and their simplicity reflected the everyday dress of people in that period and region. Click here to read more from Max Lucado’s article on BibleGateway.com

With that, Jesus did things in that time and culture that we do not do. So, whether or not he hugged women is not a logical question.

However, I do believe that if Jesus had walked the earth today, He would have given a woman a fatherly hug and would think nothing of it.

Why I said “probably”

Remember when Jesus called a woman “daughter?” Let me show you the scripture to refresh your memory:

Mark 5:34
NIV

³⁴ He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”

Hey, I just wrote about her!

You just have to read my post about the woman with the blood issue! It was so much fun researching her. Click below.

She had suffered so much.

I believe that, in my heart of hearts, Jesus gave her a hug just as a loving Father would do.

He couldn’t care less about religious rules and edicts.

Yeah, I’ll bet He did a lot of hugging with numerous people.

If Jesus did it, what’s the big deal?

The problem, in my opinion, is people have “messed up” family dynamics – both in the world and in the church.

It is part of our sinful condition.

As a result, a woman cannot accept a hug without thinking it is more.

Along the same lines, I think some people cannot view a hug without thinking something else is going on.

That’s a shame.

They need to wash their hearts out with soap, in my opinion.

I guess you’ve already figured out my thoughts on the question, “Is hugging a sin in Christianity?”

It is not a problem for me as long as the next section is not an issue.

L*st and hugging in Christianity

I’m not naive.

People often have lustful thoughts or desires for others; it’s a common part of being human.

It’s part of the sin condition.

When l*sting (leaving the “u” off on purpose) becomes part of the dynamic of hugging, we have a problem.

I do not support anyone putting themselves in situations where they can be harmed by predators or people with problems.

I AM TALKING ABOUT A CHRISTIAN HUG!

Jesus said people with this (above) issue have sinned.

He also said in Matthew 5:28: “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.“

Due to basic human nature and personal vulnerabilities (l*st), attraction can occur regardless of a person’s modest or demure behavior.

But, we are more than conquers in Christ!

We do not have to be victims of this.

Before I go off-topic, check out my post about it.

How Love Looks in Christ

I believe Christian love sometimes looks like a hug.

I’m talking about a pure, Godly hug without the intention of physical gratification.

After all, a Christian pure hug is a warm gesture that reflects the love and unity of the faith while maintaining respect.

It is a brief.

There are no suggestive undertones, and it shows people care and support one another.

This Christian hug avoids impropriety or discomfort.

Back do legalism

As I mentioned with my own experience, legalism in a Christian context refers to a rigid adherence to religious laws, traditions, or regulations to achieve righteousness or favor with God.

It often focuses on strict rules instead of loving relationships. It is void of God’s grace.

Legalism emphasizes outward appearances and performance. There are lots of “don’t do’s” involved.

No Christians should hug could fall into the category of legalism.

In legalistic church culture, legalism breeds judgmental attitudes and self-righteous church members.

Don’t forget that Jesus criticized the legalistic tendencies of religious leaders in His time.

He stressed the importance of mercy, love, and the true intent of God’s commandments over strict adherence to religious rituals (Matthew 23:23-24).

Paul similarly addresses legalism in his letters, advocating for a faith-based relationship with God through Christ rather than through adherence to the law alone (Read Romans 3:20, Galatians 2:16).

Legalism cripples compassion

I think legalism can get in the way of Christian unity by focusing on rules instead of the changing power of God’s grace and the freedom we have in Christ.

Sometimes, the whole issue of hugging a Christian brother or sister – or not – is rooted in legalism.

Back in the day, I was told that if I hugged a Christian man, then I was tempting him.

That’s crazy.

A man who is that weak should not be allowed out of the house.

Also, I heard someone say, “I do not hug a man because I don’t want to put my chest on a man.”

I thought, “WHAT KIND OF HUGGING ARE YOU DOING, GIRRL????”

I don’t hug that way. Does anyone?

I’m sure they do, and those people should not be hugging anyone in church because they have serious issues.

They are not normal.

A hug won’t likely do it…and if it does…

I have another example!

When I was younger, I was told women of God never wear sleeveless blouses or dresses. The reason was that we could tempt men.

Another thing was that we should not wear open-toe shoes. The reason was the same.

Finally, if our knees showed, we should cover them – lest we tempt ‘them’ men.

All this is a bit much for me.

As I said earlier, if a man cannot handle these things, He should not leave his house or turn on the news.

He should seek help because if he views every part of a woman’s body as a temptation, he has important spiritual, psychological, and emotional work to do.

I am now in my 50s, and I still cover my knees. It’s ingrained in me. Do you know what I mean?

If he is that disturbed…

Regardless of what women do, a man with these issues will always have that problem.

He will l*st over a potato chip if he is that mentally and spiritually sick.

Of course, I do not advocate for women dressing in unbecoming or immodest ways. I actually blogged about that, too. You can read it here.

Dressing in alluring ways is just as sick as someone walking around like a panting dog.

We need to stop blaming women!

In my opinion, women should be modest.

But men should bear some responsibility, too.

They need to mature in Christ, manage these impulses, and have personal accountability.

Why put all the pressure on the women?

Men should learn to have respect for women and exhibit Godly conduct in the church.

Then, people won’t wonder, “Is hugging a sin in Christianity?”

As I said, a hug can convey warmth, encouragement, and a sense of belonging in the right context of a faith community.

A church hug can genuinely reflect the affection and care that Christians are called to show one another.

The key is to ensure that the hug is in the context of a relationship. In other words, you have to have a relationship with the person you hug.

In my church, I stopped one person from hugging me because his hug was not right, and I told him.

He looked ashamed and walked away. He never tried to hug me again. Sometime later, I learned he was doing that with other women.

I alerted my husband of the issue.

Five Warnings for a Woman Hugging a Man in Church

Do you remember I said this is a complicated situation? It is.

And since hugging a church member is so complicated, I want to tell you how I approach hugging men at my church.

Just in case, it may give you some ideas on how to keep yourself safe.

Always ensure that the hug is consensual and welcomed by the other person. Men should do the same.

Be sure to respect personal boundaries and comfort levels. So should the men.

If you are a man reading this (and I know I get men on here), if the woman turns away, respect her.

You have no right to force a hug.

Additionally, be extremely mindful of the duration and nature of the hug. Long hugs are creepy and will get you slapped.

Keep it appropriate.

Here are some other things to think about.

1. Follow your gut and the Holy Spirit: Christian Sister, wolves are among us.
   
   No Christian man (or any man) should hug you in a way that presses you against him.
   
   If He does, report him to a deacon or church member. I AM NOT ADVOCATING for hugging everyone. You have a right to your own body and do not have to hug anyone you don’t want to hug.
   
2. Respect Personal Boundaries: Always be mindful of personal boundaries and ensure the hug is welcome and appropriate.
   
   Some individuals may feel uncomfortable with physical contact, and it is important to respect their personal space to avoid any feelings of awkwardness or discomfort.
   
   In my opinion, no hug should be a lingering hug. It should not last too long. A woman knows a “slimy” hug. Those should be avoided.
   
   
3. Avoid Misunderstandings: Physical gestures can sometimes be misinterpreted, leading to misunderstandings or rumors.
   
   As I mentioned, ensuring that the hug is brief and clearly friendly is crucial, not suggestive or overly familiar, to prevent any unintended implications.
   
   
4. Maintain Modesty: When hugging, consider the setting and attire. Don’t touch a bare back – if you are a man. Ensure that the gesture maintains modesty and does not draw unnecessary attention or cause discomfort to others in the congregation.
   
   
5. Be Mindful of Others’ Perceptions: Even if your intentions are pure, others might perceive the hug differently. To avoid causing potential gossip or scandal within the church community, be mindful of how others might view your actions.
   
   I am a pastor’s wife. I hug a lot more people—both men and women—than I did as a congregant at my old church. Trust the Holy Spirit to guide you and use wisdom.
   
   
6. Guard Against Temptation: Physical closeness can sometimes lead to unintended emotional or physical temptations.
   

My final Thought

Here is my definitive answer to the question, “Is hugging a sin in Christianity?”

No, it is NOT a sin.

However, I think you need to be wise.

As one scripture in the Bible warned, “Beware of dogs.”

Let me end with one last story.

One young lady said she attended a church where the pastor never hugged anyone – not the brothers and not the sisters.

In fact, he was rather cold and didn’t smile much.

She joined the church at a very broken time in her life. She did not blame the pastor for his demeanor.

But, she left.

She found a different church and felt accepted there because the pastor hugged everyone, and so did his wife.

His hugs were pure, comforting, and felt like a paternal hug.

Someone shared that with me years ago, and I will never forget it.

My husband is a hugger.

I am glad my husband is such a pastor. We’ve had no issues in our marriage, and after all these years, I do not doubt his love and commitment to me.

Frankly, I have zero problems with him hugging the congregants.

Some women may disagree, and that’s okay. But for me, God will preserve my lot and my portion. He preserves what is mine.

Psalms 16:5 The LORD is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup: thou maintainest my lot. 5 The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.

I do not worry about such things.

After all, my husband knows what he has. Should he ever abuse it, I know how to say “buh-bye.”

Since we’ve never encroached on that, I’m just fine with my husband and me being the loving people we are to our church family.

Thanks for reading! I welcome your thoughts in the comments!