Have you ever wondered what saying the right thing means? Why does it matter? I think that saying the right thing means sharing your thoughts or feelings in a thoughtful, respectful way that fits the situation. In this current season, people couldn’t care less about what comes out of their mouths—or so it seems to me. We’ve forgotten that words really pack a punch; they can lift people up, hurt feelings, spark inspiration, or bring someone down.
When we view saying the right thing in this light, we are reminded of the responsibility associated with allowing our inner thoughts to exit our mouths and enter the atmosphere.
Picking the right words helps build good vibes in our interactions. We are less likely to turn others off or offend.
Here are ways we can say the WRONG things:
- I normal conversation
- In attempts to be humorous
- When we are angry
- When we feel threatened
Table of Contents
Saying the right thing is Christian behavior
Since people feel they can say anything to anyone these days, it bears saying something rather elementary.
Here it is:
When we say the right thing, we behave as God wants us to act.
Look at this scripture:
“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” is from Colossians 4:6 in the Bible.
Hey, Christian Woman, listen to how The Message Bible interprets this same scripture:
“Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.”
Wow, right?
It highlights the need to be cautious about what we say, stressing the significance of mindfulness in our speech and likening our words to seasoning.
If you enjoy cooking as much as I do, you understand that a well-prepared dish signifies culinary excellence and mastery.
Just like salt, I think our communication should enhance rather than overpower the conversation.
As he says in this video, don’t be a “salty” Christian.
No one wants seasoning to be so overbearing and harsh that you can’t taste the yummy food; similarly, overly aggressive or hurried speech can mask the essence of our message.
What we want to convey can be lost, making saying the right thing more difficult.
What saying the best thing can look like
I believe that expressing the right message involves a harmonious blend of clarity and kindness in our thoughts.
Saying the right thing is easier when we don’t talk so much or so fast.
This allows us to truly listen and reflect before responding.
This is how we ensure our interactions leave a positive, lasting impression on others.
In any situation—be it social gatherings, at work, or among friends—sharing your thoughts openly helps to smooth over tricky emotions and disagreements.
It can make everyone feel a bit safer (emotionally) and more comfortable.
From Shy to Self-Confident: My Journey to Finding My Voice!
It may be difficult for those who know me to believe, but I used to be super shy.
As a young girl, words eluded me.
But gone are the days of the shy girl scared to voice her opinions.
Honey, if I feel it, I often say it.
The spirit of timidity that once held me in bondage has been conquered by the blood of Jesus, and I praise God for that victory.
With that said, I may have gotten a little “too” set free!
One of my prayers is that God teaches me when to speak and when to shut the heck up.
That same ability to freely share my feelings can easily encumber, offend, or even stifle other people.
Saying the right thing means speaking in love and in a way that builds up.
Mastering the Art of Saying the Right Thing
Here are three tips I’m using to help me say the right thing and keep my mouth in check.
I’ve heard the term active listening for years.
Are you familiar with it?
It simply means to listen carefully to the person you are speaking with.
Sometimes I have to tell myself, “Shhh… listen.”
As a strategic thinker, I consistently evaluate problem-solving opportunities and prepare my responses in anticipation of the speaker’s conclusion.
This is terrible. Plus, it makes me a chronic “interrupter.”
It’s important to refrain from interrupting and allow the other person to express their thoughts before you respond fully. Otherwise, you will just annoy them.
Ask me how I know.
Let me know in the comments if you want to find out who yells at me the most for interrupting.
Anyway.
Since understanding the other person’s perspective is crucial for responding appropriately, we have to take a beat and listen.
Active Listening – How to do it
Here is how you can actively listen when you are in a conversation: first, maintain eye contact with the speaker to show that you are engaged.
Try to stay focused on them as if you are hanging on each word.
It’s easy not to worry about saying the right thing when your mouth is closed.
Whatever you do, don’t think about what is happening behind them or around you—just lock in on them.
However, be careful not to be creepy. If you sense they are uncomfortable, adjusting your gaze is okay.
You should also nod sometimes to show you understand and encourage them to keep talking.
I’ve found a great article about active listening on the Harvard Business Review website. You can view it here: https://hbr.org/2024/01/what-is-active-listening
What is the Body Language Saying?
One way I know I’ve said the wrong thing is by observing body language.
When conversing, be sure to watch the other person’s non-verbal cues.
Watch their eyes and their facial expressions as they often convey more than words alone.
Saying the right thing is more effortless when you are fully engaged in the conversation and paying close attention to the other person.
Active listening can really help with that.
Another part of active listening is trying to rephrase what the speaker has said to confirm your understanding.
Often, when I say the wrong thing, it is because I don’t understand what the other person communicated or how they feel.
Rephrasing helps with that potential communication gap.
Here’s a basic example of rephrasing:
Kim: “I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed lately with work and family responsibilities. It’s like there’s never enough time for myself.”
Sharon: “It sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate, balancing work and family. Are you looking for ways to carve out more personal time?” *This is a perfect rephrase*
Here, in my simple example, Sharon rephrases Kim’s concern while also shifting the conversation toward problem-solving instead of just mirroring her words.
It takes practice, and I am still working on rephrasing conversations myself. But it’s work to learn to do this because it is sure to make saying the right thing easier.
Finding the Perfect Words: Stop, Pause and Wait
I have one more complicated discipline.
Here it is: take a moment to think before you speak.
Lord, if more people did this, I am convinced we would have fewer divorces, arguments, and political chaos.
Seriously, a brief pause can help you formulate your thoughts and choose your words appropriately. This makes Saying the right thing so much simpler!
Another benefit is it will help you communicate more clearly.
It also gives me a chance to ask myself an important question: “If I say this ______, is it contributing to creating a good atmosphere or a bad one?”
Don’t you agree more people should pause before speaking?
Empathy – a Great Tip
Empathy truly lies at the core of meaningful conversations.
How can we even pretend to have a conversation if we’re not genuinely invested in the other person’s thoughts and feelings?
Seeing things from someone else’s point of view makes it easier to share your thoughts kindly and respectfully.
Journaling is the best way to become more empathetic. I love journaling because it can change your perspective.
I’ve written a great e-book on how I journal, which includes templates and more. Check it out.
An Empathy Activity
Perspective journaling is a fantastic personal activity for building empathy. I love this for married couples, but it can work for any interaction.
Here is what you can do:
Each day, pick a recent moment when someone showed an emotion like frustration, sadness, or excitement.
2) Write about it from their viewpoint—what they might have been feeling, thinking, or experiencing.
Think about how you reacted and how you could act differently next time to be more understanding and kind.
Trust me, this introspective exercise will help you practice seeing the world through someone else’s eyes, which can aid you in saying the right thing in future interactions.
Plus, I think the more you (and I) do it, the more empathic you can become with others.
Incorporating these strategies into your daily interactions can enhance your ability to say the right thing in various settings.
Be careful with your jokes, Christian Woman
Harsh joking can hurt people’s feelings, often leaving them feeling vulnerable and disheartened.
Saying the right thing is not limited to serious conversation, but also to humor as well.
Some jokes can cross the line regarding race, ageism, and lookism, often perpetuating harmful stereotypes and reinforcing societal prejudices that negatively impact individuals and communities.
You can’t persuade me to think that is God’s will.
“….Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place..” Eph. 5:4
The Bible verse Ephesians 5:4 teaches us to be careful with our words and actions, promoting kindness, grace, and positive messages that encourage love.
It’s basically reminding us to steer clear of harsh words and negative talk that might hurt or upset people.
Instead, we’re encouraged to have a caring attitude and engage in chats that strengthen friendships and support spiritual growth.
Does this mean we always agree with people? No way, but we can spotlight faith and embody Christ’s character in our daily encounters when we do focus on saying the right thing.
Harsh humor can create an environment where discrimination is normalized.
It can make people feel disrespected and devalued.
You can’t expect to draw others to Christ with this posture.
No. Humor is best when it lifts others up rather than tearing them down.
Sample Prayer
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for the gift of speech and the power of words. Your Word tells us that “death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21), and I desire that my words bring life, encouragement, and truth to those around me.
Lord, help me to speak with integrity, wisdom, and kindness. Let my words be a reflection of Your love and righteousness. As Psalm 19:14 says, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” Guard my lips from gossip, dishonesty, and negativity, and instead, fill my mouth with words that build up and inspire.
Teach me, Father, to pause before I speak, to seek Your guidance, and to ensure that my words align with Your truth. May I be slow to speak and quick to listen (James 1:19), always striving to be a light in my conversations.
Holy Spirit, refine my speech so that I may be a vessel of Your grace, speaking only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs (Ephesians 4:29). Let my words be seasoned with salt, full of grace and wisdom (Colossians 4:6), and may they always point others toward You.
In Jesus’ name, I pray,
Amen.
In the end and at the end
Saying the right thing is about showing the love of Christ in every single conversation or interaction we have.
Understanding that our words hold the power to uplift and inspire those around us should make us want to speak words of life and love.
A mean Christian? Now, that’s an absurdity, just like someone who can’t help but say the most hurtful things, leaving a trail of pain and confusion in their wake.
No, we want to be better.
As I’ve said in this post, let’s try to focus on kindness and respect, reflecting the compassion and grace that Christ exemplified throughout His life.
If we’re trying to be like Jesus, then saying the right thing is basically our full-time job. It’s who we are.
It’s what we do.
In conclusion, as we engage thoughtfully, let’s actively create a valued environment that truly reflects Christ’s teachings in our daily interactions.
Imagine how our unwavering commitment to love can transform our relationships and draw strangers to us.
It not only will strengthens our bonds with those we know, but will be a powerful testament to our Christian faith.
Let’s support each other in seeking a shared understanding of what saying the right thing means as we speak to the world in ways that are grounded in Christ’s teachings.
What are some ways we can weave these principles into our lives today? Use the journaling prompts or share the comments.
Journaling Prompts for Colossians 4:6:
Reminder: Colossians 4:6 (NIV) says: “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
Here are 10 Christian journaling prompts:
- Grace-Filled Words – Reflect on a time when your words were full of grace. How did they impact the situation?
- Seasoned with Salt – What do you think it means for your words to be “seasoned with salt”? How can you apply this in your daily conversations?
- Answering with Wisdom – Write about a recent conversation where you struggled to respond wisely. How can you seek God’s guidance to improve?
- Speaking with Kindness – Are there areas in your life where you need to speak more gently? Ask God to help you use words that uplift and encourage.
- The Power of Words – Meditate on how your words influence others. Are they bringing life and grace, or do they sometimes harm?
- Jesus as an Example – How did Jesus model grace-filled speech? Find an example from the Gospels and journal about how you can follow His lead.
- Self-Control in Speech – Reflect on James 1:19, which encourages being “slow to speak.” How can you practice self-control in your conversations?
- Encouraging Others – Make a list of specific people in your life who need words of grace and encouragement. Write down what you could say to uplift them.
- Praying Over Your Words – Turn Colossians 4:6 into a personal prayer, asking God to help you speak with wisdom, grace, and truth.
- Words That Reflect Christ – Consider how your speech reflects your faith. What changes can you make to ensure your words always honor God?
Click here to read my journaling blog post and download a free template.
this ministered to me in a BIG way. Although I am not out in the workplace, I’ve been thinking so often about being gracious, our speech, our deeds. I am praying so often the the Lord will cultivate in me the art of conversation, and that through my words to allow HIS love and interest in others flow through…and to be a quiet listener, a kind questioner, a respectful thinker, and a loving friend.
After weeks of sicknesses and viruses flowing through this house, I am slowly crawling out of the crypt and corresponding with the human race again….was so refreshing to read this today.
Awesomely powerful. I totally get where you are coming from. I remember in nursing school an instructor told me I could be too blunt and I might want to work on that. Being blunt didn’t bother me, I don’t like to sugar coat things and since I went to work in the ER, being blunt is needed. However that same characteristic can also hurt people. My prayers are very similar to your own.
Thanks for sharing.
Now that I am a stay at home mom, I can also see your point about how it is “easier” to act like a Christian.