One of the most valuable life lessons I have learned to date is simple: don’t pay attention to the “haters”. Giving too much power to people’s opinions is the same as “people-pleasing.” A “people pleaser” puts God in a substandard, or secondary, position in their lives. He doesn’t deserve to be there. He deserves to be up top and the jealous, nosy people do not. Want to know how to handle haters as a Christian? I’ll tell ya.
Now get me straight: I’m not advocating treating people badly being uncaring.
I do, however, encourage you to take the “meat” and leave the “bones” of what others say. This means take the “good” stuff they say to you. Sometimes, this “good stuff” may not always feel good, but if it is rooted in wisdom – adhere to it.
Ask yourself: “is it a friend or foe?”
Plenty of times I received advice that hurt my feelings, but it was good for me. It instructed me and got me on a good, healthy path. I knew the person delivering the advice meant me good – so I listened. The first step in knowing how to handle haters is to know who is one and who is not.
Definitely, cultivate a mental (and spiritual) “filter” for the information you receive and reject about yourself. How to handle haters?
Don’t let “haters” get to your heart. I did.
For me, getting to this place of self-care has been a long journey in self-awareness and spiritual growth. It took me time.
As a young girl, I cared incessantly about what people thought of me. Oh, how and I longed for their elusive approval.
During my younger years, this longing for acceptance and approval turned into extreme teenage rebellion. Girl, I was a mess until I reached about 17 and gave my life to the Lord.
Reflecting back, I think I was worn out. Tired of trying to “fit in” and get approval, I decided to break all the rules and do my “own thing”. I assumed a “to heck with them” mentality. Although “heck” wouldn’t have been the word I would have chosen back then!
Jesus didn’t fix my hater problem.
As I grew into my twenties – a young Christian – I found myself still stuck on the people-pleasing roller coaster.
I struggled to please everyone at church–the older women, my pastor’s wife and the ladies in my social circle. It was exhausting and it was futile! I never felt “accepted.” I always felt I was “odd man” out. It was hard.
Eventually, it occurred to me: people cannot be your barometer in life. BOOM!
How to handle haters?
Decide: to “heck” with the haters!
Now that I’m much older, I love the liberty of walking my own path and following Jesus’ direction for my life. No outside approval needed.
I finally reconciled tongue-waggers, criticizers and copy-cats will always be around to weigh in and, consequently, add burden to my life. Haters will hate – is more than a song.
(Get it? I said “weigh” and then added “burden”?) LOL
Seriously, though, you can’t escape it. You just have to learn how to navigate it.
By all means, don’t let them inhibit you or prevent you from fulfilling your dreams.
Just love them and pray for them. But, do not allow their foolish conversations and personal opinions to weigh you down.
If you do, your Godly ambitions will be nothing more than that…ambitions or ideas.
Do not wait for folks’ approval; after you pray – MOVE FORWARD!
I’ve never watched a bio-pic or read a book about a person who just did nothing productive with their lives. I’m not sure if those books or movies don’t exist or if I’m simply not interested in them.
Either way, who cares about those boring stories? Do you care about them?
NO! we want to read and learn about people who overcame challenges! People who reached goals and conquered the world! That’s who you (and I) want to be and learn about!
Don’t let haters hinder you, Girl!
I’ll tell ya, few experiences hurt me more than seeing talented, Spirit-filled women impeded because of the opinions of people who are “stuck” themselves.
You rarely (if ever) hear dynamic people “putting down” folks striving to be better? They don’t have time for that!
Sadly, it’s always the “mediocre butts” in life spewing criticism and throwing buckets of water on the dreams and ambitions burning in the heart of others.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.Proverbs 3:5-6
Be you, Christian woman.
Try new things, dream big dreams!
After all, people who take the time to unproductively criticize you are usually stranded in the dark, still waters of doldrum themselves. They are haters. Have compassion on them, but keep it moving!
The truly spiritually mature people are usually too busy with their own life’s mission to be condemning yours.
Trust, obey create your plan and advance it in Jesus’ name. Agree? Disagree? Tell me below!