What to do during hard times

Transparency is important to me. You deserve my honesty if you are kind enough to visit this Christian woman’s blog. With that, I’ll tell you, I am living in the hardest season of my entire life – I really am.  I mean a distressing and devastating one.  It’s one of those where you cry because the struggle is so piercing, but you know you must press on. Have you been in a tribulation like that? How did you handle it when, during hard times, you woke up with tears day after day but tried to hold on to your faith …knowing God is going to take care of you and cover you?

God directs us during
hard times

He also directs us BEFORE them. Let me share how I know.

In fact, a few months ago, I gave up my online t-shirt store after months of wrestling with the idea of doing so.  It was one of the most illogical things – in my mind – to close a successful online business after only two years. Still, I felt a nudge to do it. The nudge turned into a push and then a brick-hard knot in my stomach.  Finally, I relented and did it. I knew God was leading me to close it, but I had no idea why.

Little did I know what lurked on the other side of that decision would be the trial of my life.  Nonetheless, God knew. 

He began clearing the way for me to endure this season in His grace and wisdom. Since He did that, I have no accounts to reconcile nor customers to manage. I can just take care of what is breaking my heart little by little every day.

God provides.  

In this rough season, God is showing me so much grace. I didn’t realize how strong I was in Him until this happened. Before, I thought the worst thing in my life was losing my dad. What I am going through now tops that. It’s much harder and much worse.

Still, God is so present and so fiery strong in this thing; I am amazed each day when I see Him provide, show favor, and give me strength. He’s revealing Himself in new and exciting ways. That is what He does during hard times. He’s supplying the resources I need, and He’s rallying my friends – my true friends – to help me through it. Here is a quick inventory of them. 

She was there all along.

I’ve considered one of my friends a big sis for years. She has been such a good friend during hard times. I am forever grateful to her and to God for putting her in my life. See, she has been through what I’m going through. Because of that, she can and does give me insight, direction, compassion, and guidance.

You know, unless you’ve walked in some particular life situations, you really cannot truly comfort a person in a similar one.  

Sometimes, you have to experientially know what it is like to hurt [like them] in order to comfort them.  I’m not sure I genuinely understood that as clearly as I do now.

Think about it. Your pain might not be as much about you as you might think. It might be so you can help someone else who is going through the same situation.

May I testify to encourage you?

Let me share some of the support I have found in my life and during hard times. Maybe it will help you see the army of support around you.

First, my babies!

My kids are amazing. 

Oh. My. Goodness. 

My oldest son has always been my spirit “twin.” 

He’s kind, gentle, and considerate – everything I hoped I would bring into this world. 

He helps me carry the burden and advocates in ways I never could. He is what I need when I need it. He is my crutch, my companion, and my partner. It’s funny how God raises up your children to be your superhero. It takes humility to let them be there for you, which is another lesson I am learning.

Then there is my youngest. He is only a teenager and is hurting right along with me, but he is so sweet and so present with me as I go through this season.  

He checks on me. He makes sure I eat and helps me shoulder the load like his brother.  I see who he is growing into during hard times like this, and I like it.  I thank God for who he is becoming. 

My Girlie Girl! 

My sister/friend is counted among those in my corner. She’s there if I need her, and while she has her own challenges, she’s always just a call away. I am so glad she has my back, and her bubbly, cheery texts seem to come at the right time. You know, she’s going through what I’m going through now. She gets it.

My dear friend

One of my former maids of honor is another friend whose texts and “checks” remind me I am not alone. I need that right now as I feel very alone. She knows what I’m dealing with because she is going through it, too, and has been for some time. She understands.

Do you see the pattern? They all went through what I was going through.

My nieces are always in the wings for me, too. Let me stop before I leave someone out.

My church family! Wow! They have supported us immeasurably.

I share this because I want to spotlight how God can methodically bring you help and aid when you need it. He can use people who were always there and bring new ones into your life for this season.

2 Corinthians 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 9.

Going through a difficult time alone

In my situation, everyone has not been so helpful. Ironically, I told a lady yesterday, “People are going to be who they are.” She was talking about some folks acting poorly in her life.

I went on to say, “You just have to lower your expectations because they are not going to be there for you or support you when you need it – plain and simple.” I’ve had a few of those vultures during my hard times.

You mustn’t allow those people to steal your joy. Stand strong and resolute. Always remember, most likely, they have always been this way (e.g., selfish, self-serving, manipulative, etc.), and their distance and inability to care should not take you by surprise when they exhibit it. Stay true to yourself and let their negativity bounce off you. 

Try not to think much about those people. You need your strength for the battle you’re in. Whether they are your family or your friends, just move past them and reconcile that they are not going to change – unless the Lord changes them. Until then, do not factor them into the equation.  Keep your heart clean toward them (i.e., don’t fall into bitterness), but keep things moving. 

How to stay strong when times are hard

I hope you opt to do what I am doing – focus on those who have demonstrated they love you and care about you.  

Sure, there will be a bit of disappointment because some people don’t love you enough to support you, but I say try not to let it linger into bitterness.

I’ve cried about the people who do or cannot care for me. Finally, I stopped. 

Instead, I moved past them. It’s more important that I stay focused on my “one day at a time” journey through this current battle.  

Truth talk: it does hurt when you’ve been there for them in the past. I get it. I feel it. 

Turn that hurt over to the Lord and ask Him to heal it. He will. I know He will. I trust He will. 

So, essentially, stop thinking about them. Stop thinking about what that spouse is not doing, what your children don’t do, or what you wish friends would do. That’s a waste of your strength, and you need it for what you are going through.

Yeah, shift your focus to the Lord and the fact that He is real and He will never, ever leave you. That’s what I am doing. 

He will love you (us) through this and breathe His anointing on you (us) to keep you (us) going until you (we) reach the end of our current crisis. 

Hang in there. You (us) will get through it with a powerful testimony.

Check out this list of scriptures to help you hang in there during hard times: https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/i-will-never-leave-you-nor-forsake-you/