Deacons’ Wives Duties

tips for deacons wives

If you’re a current deacon’s wife, I’ll bet you have looked for cool resources on deacons’ wives responsibilities. If you are in charge of training deacon’s wives, I’ll bet you have also searched for cool advice and tips! If you are a brand new deacon’s wife, I DEFINITELY KNOW YOU HAVE! A sister in Christ (wonderful Kathy) introduced me to an awesome resource for any deacon’s wife ministry. Actually, and ministry wife would benefit from it. I’m a senior pastor’s wife, but I loved it. There are lots of parallels between my role and that of a decon’s wife, for sure.

NOTE: I am eliminating apostrophes in “Deacons’ wives‘” on purpose.

The book is simply titled “Deacon’s Wives” By Diana Davis and goes into great detail about all the common deacons’ wives responsibilities. It offers practical information, guidance, and advice on serving in ministry alongside your husband. It covers everything from tips for deacon’s wives to practical “brass tacks” wisdom any woman could use.

There is no one-size-fits-all for deacons wives responsibilities.

Some of the topics I liked included self-control and the “down and dirty”  elements of ministry, such as avoiding gossip. Diana Davis even covers what to do when a new pastor is appointed to your church. I really liked that. Although I have not experienced it, I think among the deacons wives responsibilities and duties listed in the book, there is a role for deacons wives to help orient a new pastor’s wife.

The deacons wives responsiblities can vary depending on the tradition and practice of each church. The deacons wives responsibilities in a Baptist church could be totally different from a deacons wives responsibilities in a Church of God in Christ. Although there is no exhaustive list of duties, it is generally expected that deacons’ wives support their husbands in their ministry and play an active role in the religious community.

Offer support as a help-meet

Being a supportive and understanding wife is an essential role for deacons wives. They play a vital role in providing the emotional and spiritual support that their deacon husbands need. Deacons wives listen, offer words of encouragement, and uplift their husbands through prayer. Additionally, they can contribute to sermon preparation by sharing their unique insights and experiences.

Being a Christian helpmeet is a beautiful journey that involves embracing your unique role within the family. It’s about embodying the principles of love, respect, and partnership that are deeply rooted in in a Christian marriage – or should be.

As a helpmeet, your dedication to supporting and complementing your husband is truly invaluable. Your commitment to creating a harmonious partnership where both of you uplift and encourage each other is truly necessary.

Yes, there is an element of selflessness, mutual submission, and a willingness to work hand in hand with your husband in his deacon duties. You’re going to be by your Holy Spirit, as you navigate life’s challenges and joys together. Deacons wives responsibilities are instrumental to your husbands success as a deacon. Never forget you’re an important part of his journey in the role.

Deacons wives responsibilities and help with events.

Another important aspect is participation in church activities. Deaconsw ives may attend meetings and committees and collaborate on the planning and organizing of religious and community events. I know at our church, the deacons wives have communion down to a science. they are organized and ready. They lay out the elements and then clean up after communion. Their presence and active participation can serve as inspiring examples to other congregation members.

Event ideas you could do should be diverse and cater to the unique needs and interests of women within your church. Some common types of women’s ministry events to plan include:

  1. Bible Studies and Study Groups: Deacons wives responsibilities could be to plan fun events provide opportunities for women to deepen their faith and knowledge of scripture through group discussions, study materials, and prayer.

  2. Retreats and Conferences: Retreats and conferences offer women a chance to step away from their daily routines and immerse themselves in spiritual growth, worship, and fellowship. They can focus on specific themes, such as personal renewal, marriage, or motherhood.

  3. Service and Outreach Activities: Organizing service projects and outreach activities allows women to put their faith into action by serving the community, such as volunteering at shelters, food banks, or participating in mission trips.

  4. Workshops and Seminars: Hosting workshops and seminars on topics like self-care, wellness, parenting, or financial stewardship can provide practical guidance and support for women in various aspects of their lives.

  5. Social and Fellowship Events: Fun and relaxed gatherings, such as brunches, tea parties, or movie nights, promote bonding and friendship among women in the church, fostering a sense of community.

  6. Prayer and Worship Nights: Special prayer and worship events can create a space for women to come together in worship, seek spiritual renewal, and intercede for personal and communal needs.

  7. Book Clubs: Reading and discussing Christian literature can be both intellectually and spiritually enriching. Book clubs allow women to engage in thoughtful discussions on faith-related books.

  8. Mentorship Programs: Developing mentorship programs can pair experienced Christian women with those seeking guidance and support in their faith journey, offering a valuable opportunity for growth and learning.

  9. Craft and Creative Workshops: Creative events like crafting, painting, or cooking classes provide an outlet for

Decons wives and women’s ministry

In some churches, deacon’s wives often take on leadership roles in the church’s women’s ministry. Check out my women’s ministry blog – it will give you ideas. Anyway, they may organize gatherings, Bible studies, and special events for women, fostering spiritual growth and fellowship among them. They can also serve as mentors and counselors to other women in the congregation, offering support and wisdom based on their own life experiences and faith.

It is important to note that the duties of deacons wives can vary depending on the denomination and specific community. Some churches may have more formal or defined expectations, while others may allow for a broader range of involvement and service. In any case, the role of deacons wives is valuable and enriching to the church community, as they contribute to strengthening the bonds of faith and promoting spiritual growth both in their own lives and in the lives of others.

deacons wives responsibilities

What is expected of deacon wives?

What are you deacons wives responsibilities? These are not listed in the Bible, but this is what works at the church I grew up in and in the church I currently attend.

Here we go – common deacons wives responsibilities:

1. Support your deacon husband. He may have to devote copious amounts of time to church – no doubt about that. Hopefully, he will balance it all with family – but not every deacon knows how to do that.

Suppose he doesn’t pray for him to receive wisdom from the Holy Spirit. Then, gently mention it to him from time to time.

Do it at the right time – not when he is tired or distracted. As you know, they can’t “hear” you when they are stressed out.

2. Be available as you’re able. If your lifestyle permits, go with Him on hospital visits and other tasks like giving communion to the home-bound. If your life is too crazy with kids and work, it’s okay. Let him leave without complaining about it, and go when you can. One of the key deacons wives responsibilities is to maintain balance for your own wellbeing and that of your home.

I personally do not accompany my husband on many ministry efforts. I personally don’t want to be associated with his “work” because then work is everywhere for him – both at the church and at the home, too. That’s a matter of preference. You do what works for you.

3. Be an example. Sister, your husband is in leadership, which means, to some degree, you are too.

Be careful of long chit-chat sessions with other women. They can lead to gossip.

Keep your words praiseworthy. Stay in your own business.

Keep confidential information confidential. Take care of your children, your home, and your career with integrity and vigor. That’s for all of us, whether we are deacons’ wives or not, right?

4. Be a superhero. Okay, well, not really, but I got your attention, right?

Basically, I just mean be a vehicle for change and support for the women in your congregation.

Help other women grow in godliness.

Teach and encourage them to be women of prayer and have healthy, robust prayer lives.

Model the ways of a peacemaker and a leader.  J

ump quickly to pray when you hear of problems and/or discord.

Again, be the peacemaker. Be the solution (with a little “s”) while pointing them to the Solution (with a capital “S”).

5. Be a tattle tell.  You’re blessed if you have a woman officially positioned as the overseer of the deacons’ wives.

I’m sure your pastor used wisdom in appointing her to that position. 

Be her ally. If something is happening among the deacons’ wives that is unGodly, unfruitful, or could potentially cause discord – tell the head of the deaconesses about it.

If possible, ask another woman from the deacons’ wives to accompany you when you talk to her.

So many situations can be diffused if wise leaders step in and squash it.  There is nothing wrong with sharing such details as a proactive way to thwart the enemy’s plan.

Did you notice that so much of what I’ve mentioned is the criteria for being a good Christian? Deacons wives are not usually part of the formal leadership structure but have a key role as Kingdom women – just as we all do (as ministry wives).

Do you have any tips for a deacon’s wife?

I’d love for you to post them in the comments section.

Check out another GodsyGirl Post: Be a Christian

GodsyGirl is a Christian lifestyle blog featuring Christian faith articles written by an ordinary Christian woman blogger, Christian inspirational podcaster, and a pastor’s wife. GodsyGirl is about Christian inspiration and living your fullest life as a fabulous Christian woman. Explore to find articles on everything from daily Christian living to hair, makeup, and living your absolute best life!

About The Author

GodsyGirl is your go-to Christian lifestyle blog where faith meets everyday life! I’m Teri, and I’m passionate about providing Christian encouragement for women to help you grow in faith and navigate life's challenges with grace. Here, you’ll find Christian words of encouragement, inspiration, and practical advice tailored for women seeking to embrace their God-given potential. Join our warm and supportive community and discover a wealth of resources and heartfelt discussions designed to uplift and empower you on your spiritual journey.

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