I posted this some time ago. I was going to delete it, but I had some more thoughts reading this so many years later. You know, Christian Woman, I think this post reaffirms why asking for help is important. I’m so glad I revisited this post because I think I needed this reminder [from myself] all these years later.
Here is what I originally posted:
“Thanks to everyone for your emails and prayers for my mom. You may not even know her, but you touched her life. She’s home and growing stronger because of those prayers to a faithful God.
Have you ever thought about the fact that people that you may never meet could be praying for you?
Wow. You guys are so AMAZING.
It made me think about how I sometimes see an auto accident or a person walking I ask God to “touch” them.
I often pray for their day, their work, and their families – all in about two minutes. Those people will never know I prayed for them, but God knows, and He heard that intercessory prayer uttered in faith.
Today, thank God for those people who have prayed for you and those who are praying for you now – whether you’re aware of it or not. People you don’t even know love you and pray for you often…I know I am…just as you did for me and my mom.
Thanks for reading; love ya…
Fast-forward to today and why asking for help is important
The power of community never ceases to amaze me.
Again, I posted this many years ago, and as I update this now, I don’t even remember why I solicited prayer for my mom in the first place back then. It’s funny how something can seem so harrowing at the time, but years later, you either forget it or it becomes a faint memory. I genuinely cannot remember what had happened.
Side note: if you are going through a hard time right now. Remind yourself it’s not forever. One day it will be a long, cloudy, misty memory. Hang in there.
Back to my gratitude message…
Clearly, judging from the tone of my gratitude, something troubling must have been going on and had me extremely concerned.
But even all these years later, as I read through this old post, I’m struck by 1) that I was transparent to the point of sharing my concern about my mom on my blog and 2) that my bog community responded to me and supported me to the point that I posted an expression of gratitude.
When we take the time to express our struggles with others, we also allow them to support and help us. Sharing our burden makes it a lot lighter.
That’s a blessing. As for the people who step in to support you, they become a blessing to you, but I also believe that God somehow blesses them. So that means a 360° blessing for all involved!
Everybody is blessed! Yay!
Make no mistake about it, though,
transparency can be difficult.
No, it can be HARD!
In today’s social media and trending culture, people want to seem to have it all together.
Very few people will post a picture of themselves bawling or crying in a fetal position because life has totally kicked their patootie.
No way. Most of the time, people post pictures and videos of themselves doing incredible things and experiencing life in extraordinary ways.
Yeah, if you’re a smart critical thinker, you know that is not always the reality for anyone.
Girl, hard times come. Struggles come.
Requesting help can be tough for many reasons.
One of the main reasons for this is feeling vulnerable.
Asking for assistance means admitting you can’t handle something alone, which can make you feel exposed and dependent on others. Plus, there’s the fear of being judged or labeled for seeking help, which can leave you feeling inadequate or ashamed.
People often value their independence and self-sufficiency, so asking for help may feel like losing control.
Also, some worry about burdening others with their problems, making them hesitate to seek the support they truly need. These emotional barriers can make asking for help challenging, even when it’s important for personal growth and well-being.
Wait! Hold up!
I do have an exception.
Once, while scrolling TikTok (yes, I’m on TikTok), I came across a video of a man just crying.
Literally wailing. Like boo-hoo!!! He was ugly-face crying!!!!!
I wasn’t sure what I was looking at, and even though I was alone in the room, I looked around like, “What the heck?”
On the screen was a scripture. The video totally grabbed my attention.
As the man sobbed, some sort of music was playing. I think it was a praise and worship song, but I was not sure.
Anyway, as I continued to watch, it seemed he was just expressing how he felt at the moment.
It turns out he is a pastor of a church in San Diego. Pastor Zack Quilici comes online and does Bible studies or simply read the Bible during his TickTock videos. I actually began following him and enjoyed watching his videos.
He’s a blessing. His transparency is refreshing.
The world needs more of that from us Christians, don’t you think?
Pastor Zack talks about his heartbreak frequently. From what I could determine, it was a broken relationship.
Here is an update he posted recently.
@pastor.zack thank you 🥺 #fyp #jesus #heartbreak #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #heartbroken #christian #christiantiktok ♬ A sad solo piano song emotional, sad – Sound Production Gin
So, Pastor Zack is indeed an exception to the whole “fake social media culture” rule.
As you know, not everyone in the world is like Pastor Zack. Most people hide their struggles and pain to seem strong, prosperous, and completely in control of life.
Girl, the fact of the matter is NONE of us are in control of life. We just have to trust God step by step and day by day. Right?
This is precisely why I think you
should share your struggle, too.
If something is bothering you, don’t be afraid to tell the people in your life.
They can pray for you.
They can support you and possibly get you resources when you need them.
As old as time, Girl!
You know, one of the reasons people do not share their struggle is actually as old as the beginning of days!
Do you know what it is?
Yep, it is pride. Pride is as ancient and originated back when Satan demonstrated it in heaven!
He was so arrogant. Check out Isaiah 14 (starting with verse 12):
“How you are fallen from heaven,
O [d]Lucifer, son of the morning!
How you are cut down to the ground,
You who weakened the nations!
13 For you have said in your heart:
‘I will ascend into heaven,
I will exalt my throne above the stars of God;
I will also sit on the mount of the congregation
On the farthest sides of the north;
14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds,
I will be like the Most High.’
15 Yet you shall be brought down to Sheol,
To the [e]lowest depths of the Pit.
16 “Those who see you will gaze at you,
And consider you, saying:
‘Is this the man who made the earth tremble,
Who shook kingdoms,
17 Who made the world as a wilderness
And destroyed its cities,
Who [f]did not open the house of his prisoners?’
I think you humble yourself when you share your vulnerability. This is why asking for help is important.
Pride will never let you be
transparent or share your struggle.
“I don’t want people in my business.”
The above statement is one of the proudest statements one could utter.
Let me tell you, sometimes you NEED people in your business. It’s how you get what you need!
That’s community. That’s family.
Hey, if someone is in a struggle… This is what I want to do…
Just like the people who supported me when my mom was not well, I want to support other people and their struggles so they can feel what I felt – support.
I want to be a very supportive bright light to those who are going through a hard time. Usually, people in an ordinary, run-of-the-mill struggle do not need much more than prayer and some encouraging words. How hard is that?
The whole point of this post is if you need help, just reach out and ask.
If someone makes you feel weak or makes you regret doing so, ignore them.
They’re immature. They just need to keep on living. Honey, eventually, life will kick them in the pants, and they will learn humility. Trust that, Christian Lady!
Don’t let one doo-doo head block you from getting a blessing and being a blessing.
God is your ever-present help in times of trouble. Here’s the kicker: very often, he works through people. This is why you should never feel that you have to bear your burden completely alone.
Speak up. Ask for help. Then, accept the help.
Oh yes, don’t forget to say “thanks!”
Get that help, and when you do, everybody involved will be blessed. They may even write a blog post thanking you!