Transparency is important to me. I want you to know life happens to me just like it does to you. Let me tell you, I am living in the hardest season of my entire life – I really am. I mean a distressing and devastating one. I mean one of those where you cry because the struggle is so piercing, but you know you must press on. Have you been in a tribulation like that? One where you wake up with tears, but you fight on toward your day in faith …knowing God is going to take care of you and cover you even when you thought someone else would. But, they did not. Instead, they let you down and forgot about you.
I’ll tell you; God is so wise.
A few months ago, I gave up my online t-shirt store after months of wrestling with the idea of doing so. It was one of the most illogical things – in my mind – to close a successful online business after only two years. Still, I felt a nudge to do it. The nudge turned into a push and then a brick-hard knot in my stomach. Finally, I relented and did it. I knew God was leading me to close it and I wanted to be obedient.
Little did I know what lurked on the other side of that decision was the trial of my life. Nonetheless, God knew.
He was clearing the way for me to endure this season. Since He did that, I have no accounts to reconcile nor customers to manage. I can just take care of what is breaking my heart little by little every day.
In this rough season, God is showing me so much grace. I didn’t realize how strong I was in Him until this happened. Before I thought the worse thing in my life was losing my dad. What I am going through now tops that.
God is so present and so fiery strong in this thing; I am amazed each day. He’s revealing Himself in new and exciting ways.
He’s sustaining me at my manic pace.
He’s supplying the resources I need and He’s rallying my friends – my true friends – to help me through it. Here is a quick inventory of them.
One of my friends is someone I’ve considered a big sis for years. She has been through what I’m going through and gives me insight, direction, compassion, and guidance. Sunday, when I arrived at church, I didn’t even see anyone but her and ran to her to get a hug. She knows what I am feeling. She understands.
You know, unless you’ve walked in some particular life situations, you really cannot truly comfort a person in a similar one.
Sometimes, you have to experientially know what it is like to hurt [like them] in order to comfort them. I’m not sure I genuinely understood that as clearly as I do now.
She has been in my shoes and is carrying me through step by step.
My kids are amazing.
Oh. My. Goodness.
My oldest son has always been my spirit “twin”.
He’s kind and considerate – everything I hoped I would bring into this world.
He helps me carry the burden and advocates in ways I never could. He is what I need when I need it. He is my crutch, my companion, and my partner. Funny how God raises up your children to be your superhero. It takes humility to let them – another lesson I am learning.
Then there is my youngest. He is only a teenager and is hurting right along with me, but he is so sweet and so present with me as I go through this season.
He checks on me. Makes sure I eat and like his brother – helps me shoulder the load. During this trial, I see who he is growing into, and I like it. I thank God for who he is becoming.
My Girlie Girl!
My sister/friend is counted among those in my corner. She’s there if I need her and while she has her own challenges, she’s always just a call away. I am so glad she has my back and her bubbly cheery texts seem to come at the right time. You know, she’s going through what I’m going through now. She gets it.
My dear friend
One of my former maids of honor is another friend whose texts and “checks” remind me I am not alone. I need that right now as I feel very alone. She knows what I’m dealing with because she is going through it too and has been for some time. She understands.
Do you see the pattern? They all went through what I am going through. So maybe you and I are going through our struggle to be able to comfort others… as the Bible says.
My nieces are always in the wings for me too. Let me stop before I leave someone out.
2 Corinthians 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 9.
Now for those who let you
down in your season of struggle…
Not long I told a lady that people are going to be who they are.
I went on to say you just have to lower your expectations because they are not going to be there for you or support you when you need it – plain and simple.
They are going to be who and what they are and you must accept that.
Those people can’t steal your joy. Don’t let them. Just remember, they have always been this way and their distance and inability to care shouldn’t surprise you when they exhibit it.
Last but not least is my “big” cousin. This trial has bought us so close and she has been such a comfort and a resource for me. She’s smart, and wise and is another person who has been through what I am going through.
Let’s be real.
If you have history with them, you know they are going to do exactly what they are doing. They will let you down and continue doing whatever it is that is important to them. Accept that.
It just is what it is.
Try not to think much about those people. You need your strength for the battle you’re in. Whether they are your family or your friends, just move past them and reconcile that they are not going to change – unless the Lord changes them. Until then, do not factor them into the equation. Keep your heart clean toward them (i.e., don’t fall into bitterness), but keep things moving.
Instead, do this…
I hope you opt to do what I am doing – focus on those who have demonstrated they love you and care about you.
Sure, there will be a bit of disappointment because they don’t love you enough, but I say try not to let it linger into bitterness
I’ve cried about the people who do or cannot care for me. Finally, I stopped.
Instead, I moved past them. It’s more important that I stay focused on my “one day at a time” journey through this current battle.
Truth talk: it does hurt when you’ve been there for them in the past. I get it. I feel it.
Turn that hurt over to the Lord and ask Him to heal it. He will. I know He will. I trust He will.
So essentially, stop thinking about them. Stop thinking about what that spouse is not doing or what your children don’t do or what you wish friends would do. That’s a waste of your strength and you need it for what you are going through.
Yeah, shift your focus to the Lord and the fact that He is real, and He will never, ever leave you. That’s what I am doing.
He will love you (us) through this and breathe His anointing on you (us) to keep you (us) going until you (we) reach the end of our current crisis.
Hang in there. You (us) will get through it with a powerful testimony.