No one wants to talk about it. But, it is a very real struggle in the lives of Christian men and women. I’m talking about *whispering* L-U-S-T.
Lust is a spiritual ailment many preachers do not talk about on Sunday mornings. This is a huge mistake because the Word of God is about more than spiritual redemption by our loving Savior. It is also a spiritual blueprint directing us how to handle sin and temptation in our daily lives. The beauty is that it doesn’t just tell us, it shows us vivid examples of what it can lead to and offers tools to manage it by the spiritual power of the Holy Spirit.
The Bible says lust is the precursor for sin. Check it out: “but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” James 1: 14-15
How we feel about the opposite sex in our own minds. It’s linked to what we watch (television), what we think about (imagine), and even the music we listen to – all these shape our thinking and musings.
As a single women, I had done things my way for long enough and knew God’s way had to be better than mine. So, I determined to live holy and REAL (Consistently living according to His word). I knew that God would not tell me (in His word) to live without sex without giving me the strength and power to resist it – but I had a responsibility in the process as well.
As a single woman, I learned early in my journey that I couldn’t watch love scenes on television. Watching those scenes reminded me of past sensations and triggered lustful desires. I had other ways to prevent this.
Here are some of the practices that helped me finally walk in victory over lust and pre-marital sex:
1. Not too much alone time with him. Being alone with a gorgeous guy awakes desires and wants…you know what I mean, Girl. Say goodnight and send him home.
2. No kissing. This was a difficult one, but just like the being alone thing, kissing also presented it’s triggers. I was tired of sin reigning in my life. I was tired of being the woman Godly men would not marry. I wanted a change. I wanted to be holy before God and not always repenting over the same thing. No kissing worked for me.
3. Love songs. For me, love songs can put two people (attracted to one another) in the mood for sex. So, Luther had to go….even while I was just driving in the car alone. Memories, feelings… need I say more?
This may sound drastic, but I needed something drastic to empower me to be true to my God and His laws. Sex before marriage is sin; God doesn’t like it. He does not save you from it’s it’s consequences. You may not get pregnant, but you scarred. A bit of your innocence torn.
Obedience to God brings blessings, while disobedience brings the curse of guilt and spiritual death.
You know what. I found that God had something so much better for me than I could ever have imagined or gained playing “house” with some guy. I’m sorry, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I could not have accepted my “wonderful thing” if I had allowed my desires to control me.
So many single women want an authentically Godly man. (Yes, they are out there). Nevertheless, many of them are not willing to risk themselves for a woman who cannot even control her own body. Similarly, many truly, for real, Godly woman feel the same way – the last thing they need is some weak, lusty man. Who wants that?
Perfect, I am not. Made lots of mistakes. However, none after I employed the “Top 3” listed above. It really helped me. And praise God, I (finally) learned that giving away my body was a huge mistake and barrier to my own self image. I pray every woman of God, every woman of Christian maturity learns the same.
Don’t forget: God is the God of another chance. It’s never too late to start over. Read 2 Corinthians 7:10. Lord knows, I needed lots of chances, but praise Jesus for sustained victory over my desires! God will keep you, if you want to be kept. You will have to say “no”, you will have to deny yourself and you will have to walk away when everything in you wants to stay in his arms…but you can do it by the power of Jesus Christ.
Check out why we really should wait blog post.