I’ve been asked numerous times: “Is your life better now that you’re married?”
As the story goes, I was a single mom for almost fourteen years when I met my husband. Tying the knot for the second time unquestionably reshuffled my world, but did it make it better? It [also] prompted folks to repeatedly inquire whether my new life was as “dreamy” as I’d expected.
But did marriage improve my life?
You know, the older I get I see the complexity of what I used to think was simple. For instance, as with many things in life, “good” or “bad” is overly simplistic. Many single women fantasize about meeting “Boaz” and living the “princess” fairytale. Wouldn’t it be nice if life were that simple? In reality, ‘just add man and stir’ doesn’t necessarily make life better or worse. I guess it can if you marry a ‘nut’, but we’re not talking about that right now.
My life was pretty good as a single woman. Sure, it had challenges. I had suffered much, endured much and cultivated an identity of strength and resilience. Around the time I met my husband, I’d healed from many (but not all) of life’s most traumatic scars. My goals were coming within reach and my career was flourishing. Daily, I was learning to trust Jesus as my Husband (Isa. 54:5). He met my every need for finances, friendships and spiritual growth. Challenges and all, life was pretty good.
Back to the Question…
Is my life better now that I’m married? I would say “yes” on some levels. Better because I know Jesus more intimately than I did before. Is that a result of marriage? Not necessarily. John’s “call” regularly humbles and conforms me into the image of Christ – that’s a good thing. However, my ‘better’ life is a direct result of relying on Jesus to be my Rock and Sustainer just as before. Hardships come now that I’m a wife; they came when I was single. Bottom line: struggle is certain, but somehow God keeps getting better and better!
Honestly, I attribute the escalating happiness in my life to being exactly where I’m supposed to be in this season of my life – trials and all. My husband was the cherry on the pie of my life, but not the pie; not even half of the pie. I don’t think my husband would have married me had I thought he was the pie. The pie is my destiny in Christ and allowing Him to prepare me for His best use of me. He’s doing that each day as He molds me into who He wants me to become. The fact that I’m excited about that makes my life better that it was before.
I truly believe the best is yet to come!
Remember the words to one of my favorite song:
“I keep falling in love with Him over and over; over and over again. It gets sweeter and sweeter as the days go by; Oh what a love between my Lord and I.