How to have self control

How to have self control as a Christian

Did you ever wonder: how to have self-control as a Christian“?
Or maybe you’ve Googled “how to have self-control over food:. I’ve done the latter just recently.

I’m on a weight loss journey.

It sounds cute when I say it like that. But, here is the real deal: I’m 40-something. I love Twinkies, cobbler, corn bread and cookies. I’m gaining weight. That’s the real deal.

Recently, my personal lack of discipline has been on my mind. (more…)

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Don't miss Him!

Don’t miss Him at work in our lives

I’m thinking.

Sometimes, when I don’t spend time with God, it’s harder for me to recognize Him at work.

He works in good things, He is at work in bad things, He’s even at work in NO THINGS.  He’s God. He’s using everything in our lives for good.

But, when I don’t spend time with Him, I often miss that point. I can get caught up with what I see, feel, hear and think.  Does that happen to you too?

I figure if I’m in close fellowship with Him, I’m able to see with supernatural eyes and recognize Him more clearly. Time with Him rests my carnal perspective a little.

Check out this video and see what made me think about all this. Tell me what you think.


God is indeed in busy in our lives everyday and in everything.  Don’t miss Him at work in your life, GodsyGirl!

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My Selfie Fast is Over!


So, my selfie diet is now officially over.

Who would have thought that a “selfie fast” would be a problem for a 40 something-year-old like me. 

“Selfies” have become such a huge part of our part of pop culture. 

You know I’m right. 

If you have a Facebook page or a Twitter account. You’ve seen countless -rather intelligent -people randomly snapping photos of themselves at any given moment – in the car, in their kitchens, at work, on their stairs, on their porches, in restaurants. The list goes on and on.
After a while it is almost comical.  I was chief amongst them. :)

What motivates us to take pictures of ourselves all the time? Is it that we think of ourselves way too often? Is it that we are consumed by what we look like? Are we seeking “likes” or approval from others? Is it because we are shameless exhibitionists?

I don’t know. But, selfies are fun. But, all things in moderation-not too much or too little of anything. Yeah. That’s the best way. Still, I don’t know why we, especially Christians, have become a generation of selfie takers. Maybe, it doesn’t matter.  Maybe God doesn’t like it. Maybe He doesn’t care.  Again, I dunno.

What I do know, is most all of us is entirely too self-absorbed. 

 Selfies are not sin, yet any constant thought (or concentration) of oneself is nothing more than selfishness. Of that sin, we must all be careful.
Back to my “diet”. 

This was a fun experience for me. I dare you to try it for 30 days. No pictures of yourself in that hot new outfit. No pictures of your great new hairstyle or your awesome makeup “look of the day”. Nothing.

Let me know if you try it.  

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Selfies and Pride – a sinful trend?

selfie and prideToday I was listening to an oldie but goodie” song. It was Yolanda Adams’ song “Take Away”.

The song is like a systematic prayer petitioning God to remove anything inside that’s not like Him. It’s an amazing song for meditative prayer and a great precursor to your time with the Lord.

You know, one of the things that often slips by our spiritual radar is pride. You don’t hear many sermons about it. You don’t likely think about it often. In fact, the culture actually breeds and cultivates this sin in a variety of forms. (more…)

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What is normal anyway?


 The concept of “normal” in your life changes. 

To keep your peace, accept the things you cannot change, trust God’s sovereignty at all times and be ready to redefine the concept of “normal” in all aspects of your life.

I learned this years ago after I lost my brothers.  I am re-introduced to this idea this week after a stinging and painful family loss.

Normal is “change” and change is normal.  We have to be ready to cry, adjust and accept.  

It takes some time. 

Often it takes a lot of time, but healing looms when we understand life changes, amen?

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When I feel alone…

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Ever noticed when you go through the deepest darkest seasons of life, you often feel very, very alone?

Cognitively, you know your family and friends are “there”, but during those dark times, you still feel all by yourself. God’s presence “feels” far away while despair seems to be closing in all around you.

Sometimes in life, the pangs of grief can be so severe, so intense and so piercing that it can render you spiritually numb- almost emotionally paralyzed.

During these seasons, even the Word of God can feel like it’s not penetrating – not getting through.

But, GodsyGirl, let me assure you, it is and He’s still there with you every step of the (more…)

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Racism Today

Affected or effected…

The recent headlines are beginning to get to me.  

I know. There several sides to every story, but when I heard video from fraternity from University of Oklahoma, my heart simply shattered. I am clearly affected by it.  But, I’m also effected. I’m prompted to do “something” in my own personal sphere of influence. I don’t know what that means just yet, but something positive must come from this, lest a root of bitterness takes hold.

I do not need to explain to you how wrong racial bias is. But, I must vent and say we cannot let I stop here.

I work in an environment of racial “something” every day.  People “self-sort” and tend to segregate themselves by race. Sure, everyone is cordial. Some might even say supportive to the point of being helpful in the short-term. But, the racial delineation is clear and obvious.  In a meeting all the Black people are at one table (and even the president seems to have a noticeable blind spot for that table) and all the White people are at their tables. It’s definitely an issue in that workplace.  Not everyone…not all…but too many people are not reaching out. I am determined to reach a bit further to bring some change. We need it. Only the simple-minded and blind would say differently.

My previous job was nothing like this. I gained rich perspective from the diversity of our team. We challenged one another, we “did life” together.  We also grew to love one another because of differences. It was a professional utopia of which I cherish to this day. I remain in touch with them because I live them.

So the issue. 

Many Black and White Americans have a deep-rooted disdain, mistrust and disapproval of one another.  Some Whites look at people of different races and respond based on the limited images they see in the media. They assume “some” constitute all. Some Black people do this – not all.  Some Hispanics behave that way – not all. (more…)

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Lust and the Mature Christian

No one wants to talk about it. But, it is a very real struggle in the lives of Christian men and women. I’m talking about *whispering* L-U-S-T.

Lust is a spiritual ailment many preachers do not talk about on Sunday mornings. This is a huge mistake because the Word of God is about more than spiritual redemption by our loving Savior. It is also a spiritual blueprint directing us how to handle sin and temptation in our daily lives. The beauty is that it doesn’t just tell us, it shows us vivid examples of what it can lead to and offers tools to manage it by the spiritual power of the Holy Spirit.

The Bible says lust is the precursor for sin. Check it out: “but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” James 1: 14-15

How we feel about the opposite sex in our own minds. It’s linked to what we watch (television), what we think about (imagine), and even the music we listen to – all these shape our thinking and musings.

As a single women, I had done things my way for long enough and knew God’s way had to be better than mine. So, I determined to live holy and REAL (Consistently living according to His word). I knew that God would not tell me (in His word) to live without sex without giving me the strength and power to resist it – but I had a responsibility in the process as well.

As a single woman, I learned early in my journey that I couldn’t watch love scenes on television. Watching those scenes reminded me of past sensations and triggered lustful desires. I had other ways to prevent this.

Here are some of the practices that helped me finally walk in victory over lust and pre-marital sex:

1. Not too much alone time with him. Being alone with a gorgeous guy awakes desires and wants…you know what I mean, Girl. Say goodnight and send him home.
2. No kissing. This was a difficult one, but just like the being alone thing, kissing also presented it’s triggers. I was tired of sin reigning in my life. I was tired of being the woman Godly men would not marry. I wanted a change. I wanted to be holy before God and not always repenting over the same thing. No kissing worked for me.
3. Love songs. For me, love songs can put two people (attracted to one another) in the mood for sex. So, Luther had to go….even while I was just driving in the car alone. Memories, feelings… need I say more?

This may sound drastic, but I needed something drastic to empower me to be true to my God and His laws. Sex before marriage is sin; God doesn’t like it. He does not save you from it’s it’s consequences. You may not get pregnant, but you scarred. A bit of your innocence torn.

Obedience to God brings blessings, while disobedience brings the curse of guilt and spiritual death.

You know what. I found that God had something so much better for me than I could ever have imagined or gained playing “house” with some guy. I’m sorry, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I could not have accepted my “wonderful thing” if I had allowed my desires to control me.

So many single women want an authentically Godly man. (Yes, they are out there). Nevertheless, many of them are not willing to risk themselves for a woman who cannot even control her own body. Similarly, many truly, for real, Godly woman feel the same way – the last thing they need is some weak, lusty man.  Who wants that?

Perfect, I am not. Made lots of mistakes. However, none after I employed the “Top 3” listed above. It really helped me. And praise God, I (finally) learned that giving away my body was a huge mistake and barrier to my own self image. I pray every woman of God, every woman of Christian maturity learns the same.

Don’t forget: God is the God of another chance. It’s never too late to start over. Read 2 Corinthians 7:10.  Lord knows, I needed lots of chances, but praise Jesus for sustained victory over my desires! God will keep you, if you want to be kept. You will have to say “no”, you will have to deny yourself and you will have to walk away when everything in you wants to stay in his arms…but you can do it by the power of Jesus Christ.


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